Comments on 'One Always Leaves Before The Other'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2016-01-08
This was so bittersweet! You can tell Hatchet and Cauldron really have something between them, but that life won't let that develop. And learning that Cauldron love both Hatchet and Inkstain...oh, if they only were elves, eh? Troll life and elf life sure are different, with very different rules.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2015-11-03
I think what strikes me here is the differing levels of feeling and commitment from the two troll women. Hatchet seems the more devoted, longing of the two, while Cauldron seems to be content, maybe even happy with the way things are.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2015-11-01
Cool! I already wondered if the trolls also have same sex relationships. I am still not sure if it is tolerated or not, regarding your story. Which makes it even more intriguing.
Very sensual descripton of desire, here. And longing. Pretty neat!
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2015-10-21
This is a really touching look at Cauldron and Hatchet's relationship. I think you perfectly capture both of the women's desires in this short piece. It makes me wonder how Hatchet deals with it all going forward, if she choses to stay, knowing that she won't get all she wants... I'd like to see more for these two!
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2015-09-29
This is a lovely, evocative story on its own -- the sensual details, and the sense of melancholy contrasting with it -- but it also makes me want to know a lot more about the circumstances and the culture. COULD they have it all, if Inkstain agreed? His wife having an affair with another woman would not entail legitimacy questions in the children, so… what ARE the other obstacles to their working something out, either below the radar in the culture, or even with the culture's agreement? It's really interesting.
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2015-09-20
It's such a short story, but it captures the small world and illicit love of the trolls! And the last part where Cauldron is all, "I want to keep my contract." Love it!
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