Comments on 'Captivated'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

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Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-22
It's sweet how the relationship between Fadestar and Pathmark is developing. Though it becomes bittersweet when one sees how torn Pathmark is between his current relationships and what he dreams about. So it was a bit of a roller coaster this, but a lovely read because of it!
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2015-11-14
This is an interesting view into Pathmark's mind. I agree with Holly here. I also think that despite the overall sex theme Pathmark's thoughts are actually pretty innocent and shy when it comes to Fadestar. I mean look at the dates! One year has passed and he did not make a move forward.
I am rally looking forward to how this story line plays out. It is very sweet to read and "watch".
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2015-09-29
I see what Melanie is saying, about how Pathmark is thinking so much about sex, but… I think for me, it makes this story much more inseparable from "Changing Ways", the one that comes before this. You aren't supposed to view this story in isolation -- the earlier story makes clear that Pathmark's feelings towards Fadestar are well-rounded. If anything, what this story is showing is that his feelings towards her, which have always been there and which encompass a lot of different aspects (playmate, friend), are now starting to *grow into* physical attraction as well. That's just being added to what he feels for her. And that's what's going to be important to the decisions he will be having to make soon, about where his heart lies.
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2015-08-24
This story really reminds me of Pathmark's earlier days, when he was first adoring Evervale from afar. I think it's cemented an idea of him as a bit of a romantic, although I hope that he doesn't wait so long this time before making his feeling known. :) The scenes are really sweet, and give us a good idea of where Pathmark's thoughts are at this time. I think the scene with the bones in Kestrel's den is my favourite.
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2015-08-02
My own great-uncle was quite a looker, wondering how Kosher that would be if I pulled a Dr. Who and made a quick visit to old Brooklyn ;)...


Anyway, I think Pathmark is SO SWEET! OMG! With the elves it seems that feelings are more "sacred" than sex. I do hope he ends up with Fadestar. Amazing how understanding Evervale is. It seems actual FEELINGS for another elf stir up jealousy (Cloudfern/Honey/Greenweave).
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2015-08-01
I have to admit, I'm distracted by how much Pathmark seems to think about sex here. Fadestar's personality seems to be more like an afterthought at times and the thing k´coming up the most is that he wants to join her in the furs. I kinda wished it was the other way around. I get he's a healthy male and these thoughts are normal but I wished the focus had been more about his feelings towards her as an elf and old friend. ^^' But that's just me.

anyway. It's interesting to see Pathmark's feelings shift though and his realization of how Fadestar is different to him. It makes me curious how their and the threemating is going to deal with it and where this will lead. Even though it sounds sorta mean it would be great to see a lovemate splitting up once in story. That's something we've seen very little about, mostly past couples but never quite present once.

What I do really like is how much Pathmark is aware of Fadestar's strength even though she looks delicate and the glimpses at how much he's a family man after all. It suits his sweet nature to be happy about his family extending.
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