Comments on 'Races and Trouble'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-08
|Interesting to see more of Copper's ancestral memories acting up - and to see other cubs reacting to it! I like how Copper's interaction with Rill started out antagonistic in the way young children can be without thinking, and then how it turned around when things got serious. Crackle interacting with Copper in the second scene was also very interesting, seeing as I can't recall having read much of the two of them together. Lastly I could really feel how much Copper has grown in this story, from the previous ones I've read about her. Really helps me to stop picturing her as a small child - and this story definitely made her more than the "aloof and vaguely older than their years"-person that Crackle aludes to. Always great to see character development and details!|
New! Entered: 2015-11-18
|Thank you so much for writing this story, Lyn! I really like the look it gives us into the dynamics of the cubs. I like how Copper keeps asking for other racing stories, hoping that she'll get to one that explains what she saw, but doesn't get a satisfactory answer from Crackle. Maybe when she learns to share a bit more... :)|
New! Entered: 2015-11-17
|I really like the pacing of this story, Lyn. And the conversations, too. Everything is very fluent and fits together just fine.|
You give a great insight into the children's dynamic as a group. It is also great to see that Copper is aware of her uniqueness and that she hides her magic on purpose. I wonder why... And yes, aloof is the perfect word for Copper. :)
New! Entered: 2015-09-29
|What I like here is not just the "mundane" way that Copper's magic sometimes shows up (and that may be all it ever is, rather than anything useful), but how she isn't scared by it, but she does want to know more. I like her careful attempt to see if Crackle can help her figure it out; and I like that they aren't able to.|
But I wonder if Copper WILL find the answer, shortly -- and if that's how the tribe will come to know more about her magic? Will she recognize Firecat, when she rejoins the tribe, as the running girl from her "vision"? We'll see! :)
(Copper's magic definitely isn't one of the canon types that we've outlined that the group has, nor is it based, as far as I know, on any existing magic from canon. It just suggested itself because of her special, indeed unique circumstances -- a child who spent 400+ years in the womb, in wrapstuff, an environment in which she might have been susceptible to interaction with the spirits of the ancestors. That seemed to offer a unique opportunity for an offbeat sort of magic, although I don't think there's any plans to have it become more directable or useful in the future.)
New! Entered: 2015-07-31
|Nice look at how Copper's magic affects her and how she just feels that it's something "strange". Actually made me wonder... did any other elf ever have this kind of magic? How would you classify it? It's none of the magic-types we were told the holt is restricted to. :P |
Anyway. nice look and it's good to know these visions are so mundane and random. It'll be interesting to see where this magic takes Copper.
New! Entered: 2015-07-26
|My favorite part of this story is that it's incomplete. There is almost no way for Copper to know who exactly she "saw". It would be like us knowing some trivial thing that happened to someone in the 1700s. LOL! In fact, I picked up that she's not ready to share her secret. But that Crackle will help her in the future! Can't wait to see more of her Visions!!|