Comments on 'Two If by Sea'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-26
|Woah, that was so intense! I love how wolf-y Raindrop's thinking and sendings are here, and how they contrast Turnstone's. I was on the edge of my seat until the final paragraph!|
New! Entered: 2015-11-18
|I'd agree that if the shark thought that Turnstone was a seal, it'd be disappointed by that first bite. Plenty of surfers escape with a nasty set of scars like his, although they'd likely be closer to the shore. But if he got off a reflexive punch or something... ;)|
This story was a nice explanation for how these two elves got to the island! It's been interesting to see the different actions that the elves take there, they seem to really complement their personalities (well, those that are conscious....).
It was a really great introduction to Raindrop, especially. I like how her thoughts occasionally got very clipped and practical, very wolf-like in tone. I would love to see that sort of narrative style continued for her, and even expanded.
New! Entered: 2015-11-17
|What an exciting rescue mission... even while knowing how it ends. I was also glad about the note on the shark attack at the end of this story. Because, yes, I was wondering about it...|
I am so looking forward to meet those two and to see how they cope in the new tribe. And Chatterhop will probably get a heart attack at seeing so many Highthings again to whom it can talk to from now on. :D
New! Entered: 2015-09-29
|(The island is about 20-30 miles from the mainland, depending where you start from and how you swim there.)|
Poor Raindrop and Turnstone are very obviously the victims of a string of coincidences, here, and that will be the only reason they wind up in the present time. Unlike Firecat, who at least goes to the island deliberately, that is. Who could predict that Turnstone would decide to go swimming, or be attacked by a shark; that any tribemate would be in sending range; that Raindrop was able to get to him, and get him to the island; that neither died; but that neither was awake for Chatterhop to talk to, and for it to decide that both were so injured as to need wrapping. It's really extraordinary, when you think about it.
I can't imagine how astonished (and dismayed) they will be when they're unwrapped!
New! Entered: 2015-08-01
|I have the feeling Raindrop won't be too happy waking up. She'll have to be quite disoriented once she's freed. This story though made me wonder how far from the mainland is the island? |
Very dramatic arrival and circumstances here. It will also be interesting to see how this event affects the relationship between them. Will it get them closer together or will there be some tension, knowing that this event cased both of them to loose a lot?
Nice read and the part with Chatterhop I think was my favorite.
(These stories still leave me a little sad and disappointed. I so wished there'd been a way to be a part of creating something new..)
New! Entered: 2015-07-27
|I really like this realistic (yet gruesome) story of Raindrop and Turnstone! I can't wait to see what happens once these two are unwrapped!|