Comments on 'A Messy Den'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2016-05-15
Oh my gosh. Poor Flint. I think this goes above and beyond all normal definitions of messy! At least he has a few hundred years to prepare before he recognizes Blackbird!

I really love the sweet innocent chaos that Swan brings here, and Deertracker's more logical and compassionate outlook, despite her being younger at the time.

Too funny though. This story has the sort of details that make me fear that it came from experience...
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-08
Flint has all my symapthy and empathy both. This is exactly what it felt like the first time I ever babysat a kid, having had zero experience with really small children previously (my sister and I are very close in age so I never got any practice helping out with her care when she was teeny-tiny). I like how you showed both how fun and cute children can be, while at the same time being fairly disgusting - seeing as they haven't really developed the "what's okay and what isn't"-boundaries yet. And I like that you made it very clear that a child is a child and can't be held responsible for such things; that's the grown-ups job after all. Cute and thoughtful story both!
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2015-11-16
Oh my, this is a very effective reminder of how messy and... well... unhygienic (?) kids can be. Poor Flint! I really felt for him in this story. It is also nice to get a new insight into his personality here.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2015-09-29
I don't have kids, but I do appreciate, when reading this story, what sounds like the voice of experience! ;-) I won't say that this sounded "fun", either, but it was nice to get a look at these ancestors. And you know, I bet that tribemates DID pull this story out when Swan was older -- just looking at her portrait and how dignified and cool and serene she seemed once she was grown up, you just KNOW some of her siblings would relish telling it!
Tah-marien F.
New! Entered: 2015-08-09
Definitively one of those childhood stories you Hope a relative does not remember at the fireside. Good pace and I love the little cub's words and expressions - just gives it a more realistic feel.
Nice read.
Joan Milligan
New! Entered: 2015-08-01
Heh, talking about "oh crap" moments! This just goes to show that elves aren't all sunshine and rainbows, which is fair enough, but oh, poor Flint! I'm just glad he's trying. And wondering if Swan EVER lived this little adventure down, as a teen or grownup ;).
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2015-07-22
I think to find this cute you must love kids or have had them yourself. ^^' can't claim either for myself, so this was just... messy.
Nice sibling dynamic though and it was nice to see a bit of Flint. He seemed a pretty rough fellow. i can't really say he seemed very sympathetic here. Poor younger kids.
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2015-07-19
I love that this story is very, um, REAL! Everyone has The Most Unpleasant small child story, and nothing wins like Poop!! Ah, memories....
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