Comments on 'Flowers Fade'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-26
|Ouch, right in the heart! That happy build-up leading to such a tragedy really got to me. The extra pain of forgetting, as strong wolf-blood is wont to make you do, just added salt to the wound, so to speak. But I do mean that in a good way. I feel I got to know Raindrop much better by reading this!|
New! Entered: 2015-11-17
|Thanks for all the comments! This was harder to write b/c I don't "know" the characters all that well, and fleshing out relationships was difficult at first. It was a fun exercise, though, in figuring out who the tribe was at that point. I think, if I remember correctly, that Frost was the smallest of the cubs at that point, so that was why she brought more hope to Raindrop. Not that her own grandchildren wouldn't, but the immediacy of youth was more helpful in that moment. Also the contrast and complement between birth and death (though Frost wasn't a newborn).|
New! Entered: 2015-07-13
|Nice to get to know Raindrop here, as much in a context she feels content and in her grief. You did a nice job in capturing her restlessness and her fear of loosing her memory to her wolf-nature. The dual nature of her came across very well. It will be interesting to see this playing out in the future. |
I was kinda surprised Frost gave her more hope than her own grandchildren at this point. I men wouldn't Thistle live on through them as well? I get why Frost would have a special place though, just found it sad that there was no thought in that direction. Her grandchildren are a link to her daughter just as well, ain't they?
Anyhow I did like how you wove in some more of the "new" ancestors, making them part of the tribes history more and more :)
Altogether a nice story, making me look forward to see Raindrop as a character.
New! Entered: 2015-05-01
|Thank you so much for this, Lyn! I gave you a few options and you weaved several together, that is so awesome :D I loved how you included Thistle's point of view and that Songsent had such a great part. you described Raindrop's unrest very well. Plus the fact that her family clearly KNEW how she'd respond, made it truly feel as a very close-knit family. Thank you for writing the first Raindrop-centered story!|
New! Entered: 2015-04-30
|I always love stories about ancestors and I love to see the interactions between them.|
New! Entered: 2015-04-30
|Though it's a poignant story, what I like best about it is the way it shows so many connections within the past tribe. I liked that it told us as much about Thistle and Songsent as about Raindrop, too. It's always great to get these characters fleshed out! It made the tribe of the time feel very alive.|
New! Entered: 2015-04-29
|Ohh, I love this ancestor story!! The way Thistle is Raindrop's favorite child really shows through! There is no jealousy, it's just "understood" that they have this very special bond. And how the mother is very aware of her wolf blood and doesn't want to forget, and how Songsent helps keep the memories alive brought tears to my eyes! Easysinger's little sister is a nice touch tying together the new life amid passing flowers/death theme.|