Comments on 'Other Ways'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-05-08
|It's interesting to see Foxtail so introspective. I could get used to that and it makes me wonder in what ways she will continue to grow. Looking forward to more stories to see how it goes.|
New! Entered: 2015-05-03
|This was a really fun read! It's great to see the different approaches that Foxtail and Windburn take, and for Foxtail to risk getting lumped into an argument because she connects with Rill and Glow. I think it's a great backdrop to actively show Foxtail's growth, and along with her earlier thoughts - which were so nicely written - about the differences between the ways elves think, it makes for a really complete scene. Nicely done!|
New! Entered: 2015-04-30
|I really like this look at Foxtail's progress -- and I agree, it is a very interesting companion to the recent story about Notch's viewpoint! I like the way she's thinking about becoming like her father… yet how the end shows that she isn't really; that although she may be becoming more responsible, she is doing things in her own way, and not at all the way Windburn does things. It gives me hope for her. :)|
New! Entered: 2015-04-26
|A nice moment for father and daughter. I do appreciate the hints of Windburn being stern but not because he doesn't "get" it but more because he has a role to fulfill in the tribe. At least that's what I read into his behavior and that he tries not to give into his amusement before the cubs he just scolded. |
In this scene I think father and daughter play off each other nicely to get some sort of good way to teach the cubs to be quiet but also find a way to wear them out instead of sending them to sleep bursting with energy and getting all worked up that way.
I wonder where Foxtail's thoughts might have gone if not for the interruption. It's also an interesting read right after I finished the Notch story, seeing how different in their ways Foxtail and Notch are and here, how Foxtail starts to realize the value thinking ahead. The dynamic is quite nice. I also appreciate thats he still doesn't like it much but sees it can be good to do so.
There is a lot to discover in context of other stories here I think.
The only small little nitpick I have is that the POV seems to change towards the end. It kinda fits but I couldn't help but notice it.
But anyway. I like seeing Foxtail doing what she dose best. She came out to be a very quirky and enjoyable character with her own way of dealing with tribal matters. I'm looking forward to see where she's going.
New! Entered: 2015-04-22
|When I read it I couldn't help thinking that Windburn is a real hard-azz. Just a "Quiet!" send might have done it. But the lecture/apology scene, wow! Poor Rill LOL! It's interesting to see Foxtail really, really trying to change her father's opinion of her and prove herself again and again as a responsible adult member of the tribe who shows leadership.|