Comments on 'Some Dignity'
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New! Entered: 2015-11-18
|I think your writing really gives Honey that sense of dignity. I like how you include the negative thoughts she has, and the way that she tries to change them. Her happiness in the moment with Blacksnake is really sweet, although a part of me wonders if she will be able to keep it as such. It's nice to see a bit of reconciliation here, and the glimpse that they're working towards something. Especially with how the past stories are recalled in Honey's thoughts.|
New! Entered: 2015-02-24
|This is such a necessary step in Honey's journey to see, I'm glad you decided to show it. As others have said, it's not a "dramatic" moment, but it's valuable and necessary. I like Honey's self-awareness, when she starts to stray into bad habits, and I particularly like how she contents herself with that small bit of progress, instead of demanding more.|
New! Entered: 2015-02-15
|In the future I'm looking forward to Honey/Greenweave stories where they are friends and a team. That they have their own lives, but are clearly in each other's corners. Kind of like what Cloudfern has with Starskimmer. Yay, Honey!!|
New! Entered: 2015-02-14
|I really like the way you presented Honey's continuing personal journey here. I like that it's not a big dramatic moment, but acknowledging that it will be a continuous effort on her part to work against what comes easy to make things better. It's great to see her arguing with herself and realistic that Greenweave wouldn't be immediately swayed but remain a bit skeptical.|
New! Entered: 2015-02-14
|I like this for a few reasons. Honey really is growing here but it's not with the snap of a finger and everything is suddenly alright. I like that you show her inner struggle and how she becomes more self-aware of her weaknesses and habits that kept her from moving forward. The way she cuts herself off from over-thinking and going down the same spiral of self-pity dose show she's not yet where she would like to be but she knows it and tries to work on it. All the more I like it because it seems she's doing this more for herself, which I think is the only way it can work in the end. |
I also liked the short slip up of her inner monologue when she tried to push the blame back on Greenweave but stopped herself and that she doesn't want to show throat to him but stay on the same eye-level, so to say.
Honey truly showed some courage and strength here especially since we see her wrestling her inner demons so much. I like where this is going and how slowly but surely she and Greenweave might at least come to peace with each other.