Comments on 'Explosive Expedience'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-29
|Great idea for explaining Bettle's new hair style! I loved reading the interaction and banter between mother and daughter. Loved Starskimmer fussing and patronizing!|
I also found it interesting to get a glimpse at Beetle's and Dreamflight's relationship here. The blonde elf knows quite well how to handle Beetle... or who is best to put her into place. Haha!
New! Entered: 2015-02-24
|I really do like how this showcases several of Beetle's relationships -- with her mother, with her friend, and with her lovemate -- and how each of those people shows their love for her in a slightly different way. It's a great character piece underlying an explanation for a hairstyle change. :)|
New! Entered: 2015-02-18
|Ahhhhhhh there it is! You have no idea how much I enjoy this story. Its so beautiful to read and it has it all: parts to have a good laughter, a very strong portrait of every elf and their relations, wonderful mother-daughter-moments, some wise words and I'm so happy what you have done with the basic ideas on the story. I love, that Starskimmer cut her hair before she repeat the experiment
with a nearly visionary instinct for what will happen. One of my favorite sentences in the first part: By surviving mistakes, Starskimmer countered dryly. We don't learn much otherwise. Its in general an adorable portrait of Starskimmer here. I LOVE her.|
And I like what you did with Beetle and Dreamflight, I find the story paints a good picture on their friendship. Aahhhh and to see Willow and Beetle as couple is something I enjoy here, too. So many little details, who are giving a feeling what they have together. And I love sentences like: *Always curious. That's who my lovemate is. Love her for it. Won't smother her like others wanted to smother me.** following: It's still pretty stupid to stick your face in the fire, Willow added, smirking slightly...
I confess, I felt like Beetle, sunny and warm. They have someting wonderful free, loving the others in whole for what they are. Not only partwise, no, in whole. And I think this freedom is something thats important in the relationship.
Ah and its so nice how Willow let grow the single strand again. It has something like somebody caress her over her cheek. And I love in which words you told the reason, why Beetle just keep this one longer strand.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm so happy with it.
New! Entered: 2015-02-16
|The first stories I did showed Beetle helping Dreamflight. I'm so glad that Dreamflight helps Beetle, whether she wants the help or not!! Even though they are over a hundred years old they are still "teenagers". Had major deja vu because of Beetle's past shenanigans with explosions. Do I sense foreshadowing that it could be used in self defense against humans one day or is that just wishful thinking on my part??|
New! Entered: 2015-02-14
|Oh I was waiting for this one to be uploaded. Mira kept telling me how much she loves it and I was curious about it :) |
I think most of all I like how you handled the dialog here. I love how dynamic and real these conversations feel. All the characters involved to have a distinctive voice and you can sense that what Willow says here is what Willow would say and not for example Foxtail or Blacksnake.
I also adore Starksimmer here. Resolute and practical. Love her snark and dry comments toward her daughter. You can feel she doesn't want to keep her daughter from doing what she has to do, but wants to at least make sure she has some hand in keeping it from going all wrong again. I like that touch and I do like the dynamic between the too. It feels a lot like "mother and daughter" here. AN Beetle is adorable in her stubbornness.
I also like how it also shows the friendship between Beetle and Dreamflight and gives Dreamflight a bit more character. Yeah Beetle might not be thrilled she told on her but Dreamflight did, in the end, the right thing, didn't she?
Last but not least, I also like the kind of relationship Willow and Beetle show here. Accepting the other for who they are and supporting them but not without being cautious about what risks they take. I like Willow especially here. Her impatience for Beetle to just get done with being insecure so she can heal her and grow that lock back, without pushing.
Nicely done. I'm looking forward to your next story! :)
New! Entered: 2015-02-13
|What a beautiful follow up on Beetle's first experiences with sulfur... I was relieved to read Willow's response. It was also good to find out what brought about the change in hairstyle!|