Comments on 'A Perfectly Good Shirt, Ruined'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2015-11-17
I am so glad Thornbow has such an epic story all of his own! I liked his send, ** I think I'm bleeding out/dying... Just a little...** Love it!! Like Moss giving him relationship advice on how to get with his Recognized! Moss is the hen-pecked old baby daddy and she is always annoyed! Great view in on all the charactors involved!
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2015-02-06
This is such a beautiful story. The descriptions are amazing - and the way you caught each elf'a characterization was great. I liked Windburn's admissions, and how Nightstorm reminds him of Whispersilk. I think it would be interesting to see this event from Nightstorm's POV, because surely the loss of her sister is what kept her from going near Thornbow - where Windburn wouldn't leave, Nightstorm couldn't approach? I loved Moss's pep talk.

And I especially like how well Thornbow knows his sister
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-01-01
The descriptions of Thornbow bleeding out were vivid and striking - how he almost gave in to death but his wolf side fought on, how he managed that (quite amusing despite the circumstances) sending to Windburn, all dramatic in the best of ways! The way Honey and Windburn watched over Thornbow was very sweet. I love how you captured Thornbow's straightforward way to thinking in how he had no clue there was something more to Nightstorm's anger than a ruined shirt. Good thing Moss was there to mediate!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2014-12-13
Oh this was a very nice and epic story in it's own right. I like seeing more about Thornbow. He always seemed to sit a bit on the sideline so it's nice to see him in a major role here. And darn that was intense in more then one part. The first one was really gut wrenching, in the most unfortunate meaning! I also appreciate it greatly that you show here, though we HAVE a healer, an injury and the aftermath can still be threatening and draining. No magical fix by just a touch. Thats really good to keep some tension in the struggle of everyday danger ^^
I too, liked showing the different relationships here. Thornbow with his sister (especially seeing the caring and loving side of Honey while still being Honey), the friendship with Windburn and how important they are to each other and hints as well at a friendship between Honey and Windburn as well. They make a nice rounded out trio here. Include Cinder and it's just adorable.
You had my heart seeing Windburn also still struggling with guilt and fear over the loss of Whispersilk. The "not this time" was truly a punch to the guts. I could sympathize with Windburn so much here. Therefore Thornbows developing feelings for Nightstorm, Whispersilk's sister had an interesting effect on the situation. I liked that.
Overall I liked the sense that Thornbow never thought about it that much how important he really is to some.

Ohh and last but not least I like to see more of Thornbow's and Nightstorm's relationship here. They make a passionated couple. Nightstorm sure isn't easy and I can see how they clash a lot but all in all I like that Nighstorm isn't the easy one when she truely seems to feel close to someone. I can imagine the fear of loosing Thornbow was hard on her and she was afraid to confront it and even more afraid to admit it. I'd love to see a story from her POV regarding this whole stuff.
Moss was a nice add in. We see too little of the guy these days. Great stuff here Hannah. Hoping for more :)
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-11-20
Oh wow. This really had the sense of a movie; in the way that the scenes were so carefully laid out and described. It really had great visual descriptions all the way through. I really loved how you could bring out admirable and not-so-flattering aspects of pretty much everyone's personalities in here! It really had a sense of depth. Really, really loved reading this!
Joanne P.
New! Entered: 2014-10-28
So glad to see this get published! I think you did a great job of giving Thornbow a little lime-light and filling in some of the primary relationships in his life. I really would love to see more about his and Windburn's relationship.
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