Comments on 'Leaving Tracks'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2016-05-14
I was all "Awww, let her play in the snow, Dad!!" LOL! I know she has a teacher and all, but you're only six once!! (Considering...)
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-26
The beginning of this story made me miss snow so much! As a whole it made me very nostalgic for childhood (and also reminded me of how actions-have-consequences is a thing that take a long time for children to learn). Getting a look into playful little Bramble's head was fun, though I shared in her frustration and Dagger's both when she got caught sneaking away. And it's so nice to be reminded of how sending give the elves an advantage when it comes to pregnancy - always nice to get to know a kid before it's even born!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2014-12-16
This is really bitter-sweet.
Bramble seems like such a joyful kid here and I agree what others already said. She came off as a very, VERY believable child. To be so easily distracted from what she considers busy-boring-work. I also liked the interaction between her and her father and the little look at the tribe you gave back at the time.
The contarst of how Lacewing and Dagger interact with her is nice as well and all over I like how you portrait the two as well. It's such a sweet moment and story.

And of course my heart is breaking by the tragedy of the last lines here. It's SO sad to know she died so soon and she shortly before she got to meet the little boy she wanted to play with. I do love how subtle the tragic angle is here.
You are there with her enjoying the snow, lamenting about having to do something else and then. Gut punch! Very well done Beth. It's so neat to see you write some stories. they are very well done and I am looking forward to more ^^.
Emberra Owen
New! Entered: 2014-10-09
I laughed as I read learning that she was supposed to be doing something and having her father come find her. It sounds like I was when I was younger, though I hated the snow. It really enjoyed your description of the snow and icicles I found it easy to imagine it in my mind with Bramble's 'tracks'.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2014-10-07
What a bittersweet story when knowing Bramble's fate... :(
But it also seems someone is missing the snow down-under. ;) Your descriptions of how the snow piles up to walls and how it feels walking on snow woke the one or other childhood memory of mine. Very nice!
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2014-09-16
I love what a distractable child Bramble is! That rings very true, as she skips from interest to interest. I liked that Dagger came across as stern, but that his seriousness didn't seem to impact his daughter all that much.

The poignancy of the last bit really hit me, too. Bramble dies right around when Lacewing's little boy (Newt) is born, so she never gets to play with him, and he never gets to have her as a friend. :(
Angie Cousins
New! Entered: 2014-09-06
Mischief runs in the family, I see! Bramble is so determinedly herself and interested in what she can do and get away with that it rings as very true to both her as a character and the nature of cubs. It's neat to see the different reactions and ways to handle her - father vs mentor.
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