Comments on 'Slow-Drifting Snow'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-22
|A great snipped of Copper's personality, as well as how her magic affects her development and mood! I feel like I know her better now that I've read this.|
New! Entered: 2015-01-06
|I love the descriptions of snow and of what Copper finds in it. I also like how this story builds to the point of Copper's dream and her magic, and of the not-knowing. It will be interesting as she grows to see what comes of it all.|
New! Entered: 2014-08-22
|My favourite thing here must be Copper's tangible happiness. She's such a "little elder" that it's sometimes hard not to worry if the kid isn't too serious for her own good. But quiet, understated joy is still joy - you're a marvel at portraying as much, Whit. And I do quite love how she looks forward to travelling and exploring, just like her father. Though it makes me wonder how it'll be for Brightwood one day, with both lifemate and daughter as far-ranging scouts...|
New! Entered: 2014-06-09
|I like all the reasons why Copper loves the winter here very much,. They are typical small things one would come up with to explain why they love a certain season or even just a certain thing. Copper's reasons seem very childlike, filled with curiosity and awareness of her surroundings. I can imagine other kids in her age may love the same stuff but probably are not able to reason them so clearly. |
I also like how subtle you handle her magic. To me it's just the image of the eyes since I can imagine other's dreaming about their Very Long Walk the same way, but the hint that she sees something that seemingly doesn't belong into her dreams is clearly something that she is also aware of.
I also do appreciate that even through Copper deals well with that she still is a bit unsettled about it. It figures that if you know this from childhood on you might not freak out about it but I like the mention that it still makes her feel a bit uneasy.
New! Entered: 2014-05-30
|I really like how vivid this short piece is, so evocative of watching a quiet, snowy afternoon. But it's also cool to see that little glimpse in there of Copper's magic, in her visions of the great ice-walls in the north. What I particularly like is that it's clear that Copper just accepts the outlines of her magic; the idea that the eyes in her "dreams" might not be her own isn't any cause for concern for her, because of course, for her, this is quite normal. That's more effective and intriguing than if she was disturbed by it.|
New! Entered: 2014-05-04
|Wow, the descriptions of snow were just beautiful! I guess everyone (who ever has experienced to be in a snow ladden wood all by themselves with no traces of anyone or anything) can relate to those descriptions. I liked to see them come from Copper, to see she is - despite her adult behaviour - still a child, who indulges in simple pleasures and comforting furs.|
And, man, what a teaser at the end! I want to know who these elves were! Just random tribe members? Ancestors? Or even First-Comers?
New! Entered: 2014-05-04
|Yay! I was going to ask again if you were going to submit this. So glad to see it on the site! :D It's absolutely gorgeous imagery, and such a unique glimpse into Copper's mind.|