Comments on 'When We Were Young'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2016-03-22
|It's weird to see Mud/Greenweave following Trip/Honey around! Ten years is a huge difference when you're young and it's also cool to see it literally not matter centuries later!|
New! Entered: 2015-01-29
|Definitely seems like a teenager/young woman to me, going through the area where little ones are too much of a bother. I got a kick out of Mud making a list. This is a fun little story.|
New! Entered: 2015-01-09
|Young Honey here is so believable as an almost adult, still available as a playmate to cubs, but craving more adult activities. I like how she chooses not to send Mud away, but to allow him "in" to "help" her. I do hope they caught a fish by the end of the day!|
New! Entered: 2014-12-08
|I agree with Mel here: Beth, I want more of your stories!!! I really like the flow of your style and the dialogues.|
I was not aware that Honey is a bit older than Greenweave. The two of them make a very cute cousin/almost sibling pairing. Some parts here made me grin, e.g. Mud's eagerness to learn more of One-Leg's swear words. Imagine a five-year old talking like that! :D
New! Entered: 2014-06-26
|It was interesting to see these two interact with ones as a cub and the other as a young adult. It was a side of Honey/Trip I haven't read much in the stories here (though I haven't read all of them yet of course) and I felt myself wholly sympathizing with her, in all her reactions and motivations, without thinking her different from the other actions I've seen from her. Great story!|
New! Entered: 2014-05-30
|I often kind of forget that Honey is the older one of that couple, if not by much. So it's nice to get to see them at this stage, where young Greenweave wasn't yet the "expert fisherman" and Honey really did have something to teach him. I liked Melanie's insight that their sibling-like relationship (and they ARE first cousins, after all) could be a reason why romance just didn't click for them, despite what Recognition said.|
New! Entered: 2014-05-05
|That was adorable. bath this makes me want to read more from you. The language is beautiful, the images you use are so pleasant and all over it's so full of details and characteristics. Honey makes a great character here. She's flawed but all over positive. No worse then any older kid having to sit a younger kid. I like seeing her good sides. Ironically I thought of the two here as brother and sister. They have a very sibling-like dynamic. At least in my eyes. Would be interesting to see how that changed. It might be a reason why it never truly "clicked" between them even through there was love. |
This is just a nice, nice one and as said I love all the little details, like the freshly pierces ears and some of Honey's sneakiness, like rather having others do what puts her in unease, like talking to Ice.
Lovely. Want more!
New! Entered: 2014-04-23
|Such a sweet bit of story. I love all the little turns of phrase you have in there, like calling Mud "warm like sunshine". They really work to convey the simple happiness of the scene, which I'm not used to associating with Honey and Greenweave - and that of course makes it even better. I also like how you can see a bit of Honey's personality in there, cringing inwardly but smiling for example, but it's still clear that she's a happy, positive kid there. A lovely treat!|