Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 9)'
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New! Entered: 2016-02-10
|I loved how Windburn was grooming Foxtail for leadership, asking her leading questions about why he let Goldspice take the lead with no interference.|
The REAL reason, I suspect, is that he is STILL punishing Chicory for challenging him at the beginning of this series!!
I would DIE to see stories of Chicory and Goldspice butting heads after all this is over! I could never live that down, myself!
It would have been CRAZY interesting if something DID happen to Rill/Softjoy that couldn't be undone. Now THAT would be DRAMA!!
New! Entered: 2015-01-17
|I enjoyed this singular focus on Rill and his foolish actions, as well aste glimpse of how everyone was affected. The scene with Windburn and Foxtail gathering mushrooms, and how that important harvest was not really interrupted, was probably my favorite. I am glad that Softjoy did not die... Though I was half expecting the wolf to. I look forward to the rest if the stories.|
New! Entered: 2014-02-28
|Oh my gosh this was gripping! I can't quite put my finger on it, but I was even more on the edge of my seat than I have been for the human related encounters recently. I don't think it's purely a result of the 'child in danger' thing, though that doubtlessly plays a part. I think it's how visceral the instinctive responses Rill has when he gets in REAL trouble that speaks to me somehow. |
While I disagreed with Goldspice sending Willow out alone, I actually really like her decision regarding his punishment. His way back into the tribe's good graces will no doubt generate some fun reads!
Lastly, I agree with Peggy in that Chicory is showing a new side of herself in the GS series (new to me as a newbie who knows her from her character sheet.) I was like woah at first but now I'm really enjoying it. I think she could come out of this plotline with a lot of character development.
New! Entered: 2014-02-12
|The more I read this, the more I realize I love elven politics. No, I'm serious. The cultural and social differences between elves and humans (oh well, the human culture I've grown up in if we want to be picky) is always so interesting to explore and how the situation with Rill and the conflict between Goldspice and Chicory was handled was incredibly interesting to me! Now I must read the next chapter post haste!|
New! Entered: 2014-02-06
|I agree, it was great to get to see Windburn respond in a measured way, and realize that he had to allow Goldspice to make her mistakes. I suspect, of course, that he was able to come to this decision partly because he believed that Willow really WAS capable of handling it on her own -- which is a really nice moment to see, after all of the problems that the chief and the healer had a few years ago. It's great to see Windburn's confidence in Willow.|
I also really loved the bit where Rill is convinced that the mountain lion was huge and scary... while Willow notes it's a young, smallish cat. ;-) Poor Rill! I can understand him, here. Man, what a handful he's going to be as a teen!
New! Entered: 2014-01-25
|Fabulous! I really liked the interaction between the elves, here. I very much approved Windburn's decision. He is quite a wise chief and I can imagine Blacksnake being proud if his son's leadership skills by now. For me it also seem as if WB is introducing his daughter into the chief's role. I wonder if she realizes it and what she thinks of that.|
One of the best things on RTH: our elves make mistakes. And it is very realistic for Goldspice to be a overwhelmed by the responsiblilty that comes with being second in command. Wrong decisions happen.
And Chicory... ah, Chicory, I love it when she shows teeth! We see her from such a different side through the whole GS plot. Wonderful! I would love to see more of her and Goldspice and how the relationship between those two developes after this incident.
I found it amusing to see Rill's reasoning with himself. Believe me, my hand was itching when I realized he had not learned this lesson from the whole story. Will he ever see reason? I hope his punishment will help with that.
What I liked most about the chase was the constant sending and how Rill could not escape it. I have not thought about it, but it such an obvious advantage - or in the boy's case: disadvantage - of the elves: never alone, never silence, always detectable.... the elves' version of a smartphone! :D
New! Entered: 2014-01-23
|Holly deserves a huge thanks for this fic. She was the one who suggested calving these three scenes off as a Rill-centric stand-alone of sorts, as it was really killing my overall pacing with the last chapter of the fic. In retrospect, it seems like such an obvious choice! But main, I had my nose pressed up so close to the tree trunk I had lost sight of the damn forest...|
New! Updated: 2014-01-14
|Wait, my bad... wrong story... disregard first comment lol I really liked how this played out, with real consequences for Rill, even though he's still reluctant to admit defeat/wrongdoing. Such a kid.|
New! Entered: 2014-01-01
|I'm commenting totally out of order, I think, but I'm way behind on story comments, so you gotta start somewhere, right?|
So glad to see what's become of Rill's escape! Windburn is really caught between a rock and a hard place here. His decision makes sense, though, and I like how he let Foxtail work it out for herself. It's good to see the two of them working together and the way they speak to each other, too!
I almost feel sorry for Rill here, it's hard not to be able to outrun your worried and angry family at least mentally! And Willow's strategy really is devious, what a mean sly fox our healer is! I loved how Rill tried to find a way to salvage his trip - and especially how he tried to think like his grandfather who "knows everything". The action scene was superbly suspenseful, so glad that Willow got there in time! Like Beth, I'm pretty disappointed with how callously Rill reacted to Softjoy's injury, and that after she had fought so valiantly! I hope he'll come around to caring more once he got over his disappointment.
The last scene is just jam-packed with so many details, I especially loved the wolves being so overeager to greet the others which the tired wolves are not in the mood for, Cinder trying to show moral support for his friend, and of course the tense situation between Goldspice and Chicory. Rill still doesn't seem to understand the full extent of the trouble he caused but I see some signs that he's starting to get it - I hope so, at least ... I'm looking forward to see what he's learned from this!
Great instalment, Whitney, I'm looking forward to more!
New! Entered: 2013-12-18
|Whee! This chapter starts out with a great glimpse into the Foxtail / Windburn dynamic. I love that they're working while talking. Definitely strikes me as a true to Windburn thing to do. And it really starts to feel like he's grooming her for leadership in the future, which is interesting and good to see. |
Oh Rill. It's adorable the shifting, unrealistic goals he's setting for himself. Scary outcome though! And scarier still is his reaction. To have him be that concerned about his adventure and rather than Softjoy.... *shudder*.
Goldspice's reaction is interesting too. I would have thought that she'd try to invoke more authority, rather than leave Rill's punishment as 'constant supervision' until Windburn and Suddendusk get back... hmm.
New! Entered: 2013-12-14
|Part Nine. Here it is. Wonderful! Whitney I admire and appreciate your hard work on this storyline. Everyone’s really but it looks as if you heave the main part right now. Thank you so much for the hard work! |
As for the story itself:
I do really like this first part with Windburn handling Goldspice’s decision. It’s clear he agrees with everyone around him that her choice is an ill-advised one. But he has one foot in the future and I love how he let Foxtail figure out the reason for his decision. All around I liked the mood in this part and the way it came across how this conflict is shaking those hearing it and how Windburn dose put his foot down. Chicory came across just as heated as in the argument with him, which is a nice call back, but this time I can understand her more, even if there is the tendency again to challenge the chief, in a way. All in all: nicely handled. I really like the interaction between all of them and how you make clear what each one feel with so little to use. Like – you know exactly like Quick Fang feels right now even if we barely “saw” her, and just read it over the way she reacts to Windburn.
The part with Rill was glorious. I love how you handle him in this. The reality catching up to him and… oh boy it must be so much harder to be an elf child then a human one. I admit I didn’t think about it either how hard running away is when people still can nag at you and so spoil you whole adventure.
I love how you weave so skilfully all the relationships. The tribe feels so connected in this scene even if it’s just rill we see. I love the hints at True Edge and the different ways the single tribemembers call him back.
Most of all I love Willow. She sure is ruthless and I got a kick out of her almost wearing Rill down with her strategy. One almost could think she was enjoying this!
The logic behind Rill going on like he dose is so childlike – even more BOYlike. The way you breathe life into Rill. It really makes him an endearing child character.
And then the rush of excitement. Wow that almost had gone badly and I was really afraid for Softjoy here for a moment. This is a lesson learned the hard way (or not… Oh Rill)
Lovely chase scene with an almost bad ending. Rill was lucky Willow was there. Even if I gather he sees that a bit differently ;)
The last scene. Oh boy. This feels SO real to me. The way Rill reacts the way the air is tight with tension, Glow’s tears, Cinder standing by his friends just for support and the anger the adults show here. All this dose feel SO real. It’s the little touches that make it I think.
Tis also made me wonder how the relationship between Goldspice and Chicory will develop from here. There are clear wounds thrashed into that as well, understandably.
It was also nice to see a glimpse of Copper learning the smiting trade from her aunt.
I enjoyed this a lot. Very curious about the next part