Comments on 'Surprises in the Snow'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2016-02-21
|This was such fun to read! I like all the young tribemates had the experience of witnessing their births! Now that it's a few seasons later, I'm anxiously awaiting stories just about Flicker and Spark!|
New! Entered: 2014-10-28
|I was quite happy with how this story came out - though there were four writers on it, each taking different scenes, I felt like it all flowed together pretty nicely and was a fitting end to the years of build-up that came before it. I also love that we were able to get some tribal involvement in this one. Peggy's contribution of the scene with Rainpace, Chicory, and Glow was just too adorable, and also felt really realistic. They really make the cutest family! |
Really excited to move forward with our elders, and of course Flicker and Spark!
New! Entered: 2014-02-27
|Many congratulations, you three! Not just to Snowfall and Kestrel and True Edge, on the birth of their little ones… but to you guys as writers, taking on this storyline and seeing it through. It must really feel like going through that long a gestation period! :)|
I liked the mild anxiety here caused by True Edge's absence -- not a huge disaster, but JUST that sort of everyday "what can go wrong, will" feeling. Yet they were all together in the end, fittingly. But it was also great to see the various visitors to the den already, fitting these three and their babies into the greater context of the tribal community. A lovely start, that feels like a group effort in more ways than one. :)
New! Entered: 2014-01-23
|Yay! This is a rewarding conclusion to the entire story arch you three have been working on. Bravo!|
One minor quibble about the closing lines: "**I get the feeling this is going to be the norm from now on,**" -- that is a pretty TwenCen sort of phrase, enough so that it jarred me out of the warm glow of the rest of the story had built.
New! Entered: 2014-01-18
|Welcome, Flicker and Spark! So much fun to read about their early arrivals :) I'm glad all went well for the births. And I love all the details surrounding it.|
New! Entered: 2013-12-17
|Oh yay! So fantastic to see Flicker and Spark make their entrance! Congratulations to Kestrel and Snowfall and True Edge and their families. :) |
I really love all the dynamics you touched on in this story - from old wounds grievances that Fadestar's mature enough to drop with True Edge at the beginning, to the oh-so-true feeling of being an adult moving back in with your "parents" and suddenly having cub-targeted rules thrown at you again! Definitely feels realistic there! It was wonderful to see Quick Fang and True Edge interact here, very cool to see them as father/daughter and how their stubbornness sort of mellows between them with understanding of the other. Very cool. And I just love that she ran with him home! Perfect! Great use of a touch of drama and not overdone. I still have such a soft spot for Pathmark and it warmed my heart to see him and his wishes here. I hope he gets to be a father soon too! So great to see the tribe and the family interacting, I can't wait to see how the boys grow up. :)
New! Entered: 2013-12-14
|Here they are! Welcome to the tribe Flicker and Spark! |
I kinda do love the name for the kids here. Tehy seem to fit so well and I can't wait to see more of them. Flicker got a bit more time to show himself and I can't wait to see more of Spark showing through as well.
This was a nice wrap up on the whole storyline and a nice start into the next. I too like how involved Fadestar is here. It dose give her a bit more connection to her family. We sadly didn't see much of your Fadestar bounding with Snowfall and True Edge but I hope we see more of it now.
There are a lot of precious little scenes. For some I even wished they had gone deeper and longer. There still is some good stuff hidden between the lines. I for example would love to extent on the scene between True Edge and QuickFang. There were some interesting point brought up.
I also would love to see more of the fridgion between True Edge and Fadestar. It was great to see hints of it.
There's a lot of really neat stuff in this and I like the feel of closeness between the two brothers already. I had a clear picture in mind when the mothers showed
And last but not least. Wheeee Newt had a hand in bringing Spark to the world!
New! Entered: 2013-12-07
|This is just lovely! I really have to laugh several times because of grumpy poor TrueEdge (good that he is not alone anymore with so many women ;) and little Glow was soo sweet, too! It was nice to see Fadestar so involved, I really enjoyed reading the beginning with the three asking Fadestar for her help ...and then the end of the story, where Fadestar and TrueEdge take care of the babys!|
New! Entered: 2013-12-07
|Woot woot, welcome to the tribe, Flicker and Spark :D I'm so happy for the family, whoo! I loved how True Edge was *just* in time for Flicker's birth, and that you can already see the differences in the two cubs - not just appearance-wise, but in character, too. Hopefully, Flicker won't cry for too long ;) Fadestar will be very happy to help out!|
New! Entered: 2013-12-06
|Yaay, finally! Welcome to the tribe, Flicker and Spark!|
I really liek the idea of them being born so almost the same day. They will grow up as twins and I am already curious how this is going to end up. For the tribe, I hope they will not become the next Dash and Twig back in their days. :)
I am glad everything worked out just fine and the babies are happy and healthy. Am curious how all of them will handle the double pack, especially True-Edge.