Comments on 'Frozen Roads'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

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Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-18
And always they were haunted by wolves.

That line really got to me. The imagery in this story was very vivid, but that line especially struck the scene home for me. And it's great to get a look into how the humans reacted to the Return of the Fierce Ones - I love the human terms for them! - and how they came to be sure there had been a return at all. Builds a lot of tension for future stories!
Lea R.
New! Entered: 2015-01-14
Interesting story! But it gave me the chills... It tells so much about the collaboration between the two very different human tribes and at the same time a good insight how they think about each other. And it shows me a lot about how the communities work. And interesting to think that the humans and the Elves have the same enemy and I hope they realize this fact sooner or later.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2015-01-08
Ooooh, chiils. As I was reading I just kept hoping that they would find evidence of the Hungry Ones. I'm glad they did. And to think that in a year (or two or three b/c time is passing so quickly), the Fierce Ones might make their way down the frozen "road" to the colony...

I also liked the look at these brothers. I definitely like and respect Lionkiller more than his brother, Chickpea. I found myself wanting to call him "Cack" b/c he said it so much.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2014-02-27
I love, of course, the way this story expands our understanding of the multi-cultural Ebean empire so much! Also, just, these guys are such a great, lively addition to the mix; both of them pop off the page, and really make me want to see them do more. But I also appreciate the look here at Bomo, who is nobody's fool. The respect that Lionkiller has for him is great to see.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2014-02-09
How cool, warrior Ebeans! I loved the interaction and dialogues between Lionkiller and Chickpea. It is easy to imagine them in a small army somewhere in the deserts of their homeland, grim and deadly, waiting for the enemy in anticipation.
It was great to read all those interspersed little details on the Ebean culture, their beliefs and superstitions.
I was also glad to see Bomo so well adapted to the Ebeans, his wit and intelligence not being unnoticed, even admired. I guess both Bomo and the newly arrived soldiers can learn a lot from each other and I am sure they are seizing the opportunity.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2014-01-23
If you are at all a fan of the HBO series "Rome", trying re-reading this with Vorenus & Pullo's voices in your head for Lionkiller and Chickpea. I was certainly hearing them in my head as I wrote this!
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2014-01-06
Great to get a look at this from the human perspective! I really liked the contrast between Lionkiller's silent efficiency and Chickpea's good-natured complaining, and I agree with Mel that learning more about their previous life really helps to make the whole empire seem much greater. Seeing how efficient Lionkiller and Bomo go about setting up their defences gives me hope that if the Fierce Ones come back, they will be faced with humans and elves both prepared to take them!
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-01-05
Lovely look at the human characters here! I'm a bit behind on my human reading and this really gives me the sense of a rich storied world. It really has the sense of an Empire's colony to me now, and I like the sense that they're planning ahead for the next winter. The interactions between Chickpea and Lionkiller were fantastic, and kept the story riveting. Great to see the outcome of the horn-blowing from this side, and get a bit more of the history of the various human tribes. :)
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2013-11-14
I kinda wonder if the elves purposely led the humans to the evidence. I do recall reading something like this somewhere but I'm not sure if my head just jumps to this conclusion because it seems most logical or not ^^'

Anyway, a nice look into the human side of this dilemma and a few good things to know. Winter just became a bit more chilling ;)
It also was nice to see Lionkiller again and to get an impression on how this colony is really just a small part of a huge empire. For some reason the addition of soldiers and wars elsewhere makes this whole thing seem like just a fraction of a way bigger planet. Makes you feel a little smaller as well when you think about it.

Nicely written as well. I did like the interaction between Bomo and Lionkiller here. It dose speak of some kind of mutual respect but yet still feeling estranged from "the others".
Joan Milligan
New! Entered: 2013-11-13
Ahh, Whitney, you have a gift for snappy dialogue and characters like no one else I know. Not that I had any doubts, but this story really makes me feel I left my humans in hands probably more talented than my own ;). I adored all the throwaway references you have there to the Ebean empire and how it gives a sense of it really being huge (made me think of Rome, really, especially when you mentioned roads). I also loved seeing two tough and competent Ebeans - Sufts particularly, the distinction is important and good!

Tell you the truth, I was almost expecting them to run across some evidence of the elves and mistake those for the Fierce Ones. That would have been a twist, though probably too much of one! This is already pushing the plot forward, and I am absolutely loving every twist as I read it. Sad that I can't be a part of it, but you should know that I am eagerly reading every instalment as it's posted and waiting for more.
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