Comments on 'Impulses'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-07-13
|Interesting choice with the POV of the shark! I love how he thinks and how he sees the elvin fishers. I didn't even know there are sharks in the sea near the holt. Makes me wonder how often such attacks happened in the history of the Elves...|
New! Entered: 2015-01-17
|It took reading twice to follow it and realize the POV throughout was the sharks - fascinating! I especially like the way it views the elves as sparks, and one-leg as broken spark. The use of "blood in the water" at the beginning and end was a nice way to bring it back around. Lovely and concise piece to go with the illustration.|
New! Entered: 2014-08-09
|Oh, I actually feel sorry for the shark. It was trying to eat Greenweave and One-Leg, of course, but still, it as hungry and chose the completely wrong prey. Very dramatic and animal like telling!|
New! Entered: 2014-02-27
|Such an interesting choice, to avoid doing a "straightforward" take on the scene, and instead inhabit the shark's "viewpoint"! I liked the way you used the poetic format to get into the alien way of thinking and perceiving the world. (I think I was particularly taken with it since I relatively recently read a few books about some famous early 20th century shark attacks along the Jersey shore, and one of the books had a regular "shark viewpoint" chapter -- but less poetically handled than this.) Neat idea!|
New! Entered: 2014-01-25
|Kudos on this -- it is quite the unexpected poem, and I'll bet it was a fun challenge to write as well!|
New! Entered: 2013-12-06
|I am not good with poetry nor understanding it, but I really, really likes the idea of doing this from the shark's POV. And the end, with just "blood in the water", somehow got me with it's sudden-ness.|
New! Entered: 2013-10-26
|Yes vary confusing, but as one said to me it's Poetry it is not suppose to make seance..lol It is a vary cool idea to make it from the Shark's POV. I am happy the picture inspired you. Because it deserved written word to go with it:) Want to pat you and Mel on the back for a the felling of actually being part of the underwater experience.|
New! Entered: 2013-10-25
|This has a nice primal feel to it. It's basic in the best sense I think nd the choice to tell it from the shark POV is really unique. |
At first I was a tad confused but in the end I think it hreally has it's own charm in this way. It is like following the thoughts of an animal here.
And it made me really really feel for the poor beast. I mean.. it's only following it's natural instincts :(
And I agree. I love the "Blood in the water" line
Thanks again for coming up with a poem to my picture :)
New! Entered: 2013-10-20
|This is great, very poetic (if a bit confusing on the first read ^^). I really like that you chose the shark's POV, and how the choice of words made the events unfold despite how fractured its thoughts seemed. And I especially loved the first and last sentences making it come full circle. Lovely!|