Comments on 'Go Toward the Water'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-28
|This was intense and very dramatic! And the end is just sad... Even if I knew how it ended, I was hoping for a happier ending for those two...|
I liked how Ambergold is hoping for her tribemates safety and how she uses her power till the end for her and Ivy. And yes, she kept her promise, at least a little comfort for me. And now I wonder how bad this fire really was and how the other Elves in the Tribe experienced it. And how it stopped! It sounded here like a huge forest fire, I guess the tribe got lucky with such a few losses? (Even if that's a bit cynical to say...)
New! Entered: 2014-12-22
|Oh wow, what an intense story. I really like how your mind works: that you used a fire theme for a water contest! Brilliant!!|
This is pretty heavy stuff and I am actually blown away how you managed to show the intensity of the situation with all the confusing sending Ambergold is receiving and how she still uses her power during all that. And the end... and cannot talk about it. Incredibly sad last line...
New! Entered: 2014-08-13
|Even knowing how this story would end didn't prepare me for Ambergold's struggle in the last moment. Reading and seeing how she tried so hard to stay alive, and keep Ivy alive. To see some of her last thoughts be of her Soulmate and passed cub. It was truly a sad and painful moment. I couldn't turne away from reading this for a moment, it was really well written.|
New! Entered: 2014-02-27
|I knew how this fic would have to come out… but it was almost easy to forget that, and be caught up in the struggle and yearning to survive, so that the ending still comes as a real blow. It's really powerful for such a short piece. Well done!|
New! Entered: 2014-01-25
|This was such a poignant, powerful little fic -- I'm shocked more folks haven't commented on it yet! Your final lines in this fic haunted me for days!|
New! Entered: 2013-10-26
|Yes vary nice story. Action and sadness of danger. Mel has said it all, Poor Ivy and Ambergold fire is vary vary bad..but it cleanse the forest bring new life. Tragic whom ever get in it's way. Nice uses of the Water works Contest:)|
New! Entered: 2013-10-19
|Holly molly! I just realized, how badly I missed your writing. This is great! Fast paced, tight and filled with tension. I can feel the rush and focus you can get in when you're panicked. When the only solution seems to just focus on ONE task and block all else out. The way you worked in the importance of water for the tribes little tasks is so pointed here. I love how you managed to make it more then just a showcase of water and the tribe but here link it to something that seems like the only safe place now. |
The whole thing had me wishing they made it and the end is just.. oh my. It's really sobering. I love how it fades out. The realization how bad her situation is.
The choice of a healer here was great too. And I felt so badly for Ivy. She must have gone through shear horror here.
And I loved the hints at what happened before we were tossed into this devastating situation.
The last sentence has a nice touch of irony as well.
I could go on for hours rambling here but all I want to say is... good stuff!