Comments on 'Impatience'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2015-07-07
I think it's always good to see how adults and cubs interact, and here, how Kestrel knows the bigger picture, and sees past his behaviors in the moment - to recognize family traits and wisdom enough to be concerned. I don't think Cinder's out of the woods with the level of concern, but it was very nice to see him (albeit reluctantly) agree to play. Well-written.
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-09-30
Cinder's reaction to not growing up fast enough really rings true here. It's very true to life, to not have him be comforted by Kestrel's words. I really like how you harken his personality back to Windburn and Blacksnake, it's great to see that stubbornness continue! >:) I really also love the contrast with Rill, and the way that Rill can pull him out of his obsessive mood with games, and the link in with the preserver-punishment. Great story!
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2014-08-09
I like that Rill's less than grown-up nature was shown in a positive light here. Not that he hasn't been reckless and deserving of the punishment he's gotten after his latest stunt, but I like that his personality isn't shown as something that's only negative.

Cinder working so hard to become better at hunting, seeing that as the way to protect and help the tribe the most, says a lot about his own views and values, as well as his relationship with his father. It was interesting to see Cinder and Kestrel interact, and I liked how it was clear in the story that he didn't seek her out much; always great to have elves' relationships to one another made clearer and clearer by the stories here.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2014-04-11
This reaction from Cinder to recent events makes so much sense. He was always serious -- always so much the child of his father -- so of course he'd take it seriously, and not want just another soothing talk about "each person has their role". I like the sense at the end that the less complicated energy of his friends can still pull him out of his funk, though.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2013-06-23
It was great to see some reactions to the FOs arrival and the aftermath from the POV of a cub. I liked Keestrels musing about how Cinder reminded her of Windburn, but also Blacksnake. I had the feeling she did not like the thought of the sweet boy growing some traits of his grandfather. ;)
I wonder if there is more to come about how the event changed Cinder. I would like that.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2013-06-14
This was a great look into how the events affect the youngest in the tribe. I'm glad to see a little more of Cinder and what may become of him one day. It's good to see the cubs in the tribe having such distinctive personalities. You can clearly tell Cinder and Rill apart, such as the girls as well. I really like that.

Poor Cinder. I can only echo Kestrel's concern here. and I'm glad to see that there is hope that he will remain a kid some time longer. It's SO lucky he has agemates close to him, so that the danger is not too big. I imagine it would have been harder if he'd been the only cub around.

I like the writing style here as well. Especially in the first part. All these inner thought. Sigh.. I know them all too well but then again, deciding to talk about it makes Cinder a tad more wise then I was ;)
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2013-06-13
This is a great story. I really like seeing one of these centered around the reaction of one of the cubs, and how he feels about the whole situation and how it affects him. I also really liked how Kestrel's concern for him came across. I'm with her -- I hope Cinder doesn't grow up too fast!
Heidi Henderson
New! Entered: 2013-06-10
I like how this shows how the Fierce Ones' return affects everyone in the tribe -- even the cubs. I like his particular reaction to the events, too, without giving spoilers here, I really think it makes his personality shine through. I'm glad, too, that he still finds a way to play and be a cub, and not let things make him grow up too fast.
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