Comments on 'Whitemask'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-22
I adore how loving Newt is towards the poor little owl and how much history this adoption brings up! It's great to see Blacksnake dig through his memory to remember what birds have been adopted by tribe members past and present. A very engaging and heart-breaking + heart-warming story (I always feel bad when animals get killed, even if it is the Way/Circle of Life/etc.)
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2014-12-29
Hah, I bet you were eager to write this story. All those details and information on owls! I guess some of it is first-hand experience. :)
So good to see Newt explore the world. And really, jerking a racoon out a hole on its tail??? That boy has guts, considering how big a racoon is in comparison to an elf. But it also tells us how determined Newt can be.
I also liked the connection to the ancestors with Blacksnake telling stories about other tribe members that owned a bird.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2014-11-18
I enjoyed the details about all the different types of owls. And I liked the buildup, showing HOW Newt came to care for the owl, not just a random find. Blacksnake here was just AMAZING! :) His willingness, and encouragement, even, was surprising and just awesome.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2014-07-31
A lot of research went into writing this! But I'm glad that it sounds like the results were interesting to read, rather than just being an info-dump. It was fun to get to do this, since I personally am very interested in birds, and especially owls -- but I don't think Blacksnake himself is. ;-) But as you can see, he's willing to help Newt, who is, and why not? Let's hope this is the start of something big for Newt.
Laura Melis
New! Updated: 2013-05-17
What--I didn't comment on this! Sorry. 'Cause I absolutely loved it!!!!

I like how you lay the ground work in putting us into Newt's little routine. It gave us the same kind of expectation that Newt was feeling, even to the disappointment and alarm when something appeared to have happened to the parent owls.

The raccoon was funny and scary at the same time and I couldn't help but be mad when it made off with the other chick, despite that being the way of nature.

I think this is a cool way to introduce the owl and what a fun addition to the holt!! I can't wait to draw the pair. :D

Oh--P.S I liked getting to see this side of Blacksnake, still practical and all business like, but still accomidating to young Newt and his orphan. Very touching.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2013-05-09
There's just so much here to love! This is just such an absolutely fantastic, on so many levels! It's great to see this development for Newt, and the long-term challenges it will present are just a gift that will keep on giving! It's wonderful to see Newt "in action" as well, and I love the scrap with the raccoon! The interaction between Blacksnake and Newt is just a delight to read -- and my favorite element just has to be how Blacksnake brings all of this around to Newt in terms of tribal history, and how others in the past have befriended and trained various birds. And I have cheered each time I've gotten to the line "His first bird" -- YES! It's really cool to get this glimpse into Newt's future, and see how he's going to be continuing a tradition -- and contributing to it as well!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2013-05-07
So late on commenting this ^^'
Holly I told you during the process, how much I really like this story! There is so much effort in all of these scenes and the details to set the scene and interaction. It's awesome! Just love the start to this storyline right off the bat.
Loved the scene with the racoons. For one thing I like it that raccoons seem to become Newt's nemesis (well the other time it was in Crackel's Story but still :P ) and that he's capable to fight even if he's not a fighter in the classic sense of the word.
Also LOVE the interaction with Blacksnake here. I can't really say why but I dig it. Having it out of Newt's POV and seeing how he is expecting one thing from Blacksnake and get's a different reaction was fun and it makes me curious about what Blacksnake really thinks and what's going through his head.
Also I love how much a part of the tribe Newt feels here. He interacts with so many here and it all feels natural. Good to know my boy really settled :)

And another thing that popped in my head... He one day will make a pretty good and cute dad XD
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2013-04-28
Oh interesting! I really like the way you brought the meadow-setting alive in the beginning, especially since it was just Newt alone with his thoughts and observations. I really love how the forest just came alive. I'm as curious as Newt as to what's going through Blacksnake's thoughts! It was a great look at the two of them together, and the support that the tribe gives. It's all warm and fuzzy the way that everyone just pitches in what they can to help - it'll be an interesting situation in Newt's den for a while! :) This looks like the start of something really special for Newt. So happy to have an owl around the tribe! (Potentially.)
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