Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 7)'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2016-02-06
I liked the initial reaction to the news about Notch. How even though it was brilliant and saved One-Leg's life, Windburn still sent to make sure the horn was taken away from him!!

The wolf, OMG! I was crying here IRL. Poor Rainpace! So filled with anxiety and then for this to happen! Well, we kind of saw it coming. The old wolf, her being needy, the steep cliff...

Liked the plant shaping details. How Cloudfern has to practically carry Evervale back to the cave after working with a tree in winter.

Once again, Copper is way spooky! Poor Rill!! It will be hard for him to be an impetuous kid growing up with her around!!

And finally I LOVED that Blacksnake saw his niece's hair and his son's eyes in the human child. Right after he vowed to kill any he happened to meet!
Lyn Cavalier
New! Updated: 2015-01-13
Had to comment before I finish reading... dangit I'm crying, and I have to go to work again. Client in the other room. That scene with Rainpace and Bristlepelt was so sad. So very sad. And so convincing. I appreciated Willow's acceptance and acknowledgement of the situation - there wasn't much she could/should do at that moment, so I was glad she quit fighting. Poor Rainpace! (More comments in a bit)

Agghhhh! I chose to finish this before heading home. Now, I want to know the rest of the story, and hate waiting. SUCH a cliffhanger. And I'm glad for how Blacksnake handled it, I think :) I'll have to see what comes. Will there ever be a tale from the youth's perspective??? I wonder what the Fierce Ones History tells of the elves they found so long ago...

Must read the rest tonight!
Ally Raidel
New! Updated: 2014-02-22
Oh no! Poor Bristlepelt! I felt like there might be something in store for the poor elder beast when I read the last part of GS, but I honestly didn't see this coming. That passage about her in GS 6 was really masterful foreshadowing, and this scene was heartbreaking and very well written.

The part describing Evervale and the seasonal nature of treeshaping was downright beautiful.

As for the cliffhanger ending... I'm so glad I don't have to wait to the next installment! Onward!
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2014-02-12
So many wolves dying in this 'group' of stories - it's understandable but sad all the same. This death was so sudden, yet foreshadowed well, that it made sense and took me by surprise both at the same time. Brought tears to my eyes it did.

The description of plantshaping and how the seasons affect the trees were brilliant! And the trick with the thin, thin stone layer over the escape routes are such clever uses of magic!

Rill's reflection over Copper and her character was beautiful and also very fitting and informative. Set a great mood and told a lot about their relationship to one another.

The cliffhanger nearly made it impossible for me to pause and write this review before moving on to the next chapter - I'm on pins and needles here, in the best of ways!
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2013-12-18
Bristlepelt made me tear up completely and had to stop reading for a while. Siiigh. So sad. Poor old thing. :(

The description of the winter tree-shaping was lovely! It's good to see Blue Cave turning into more of a home than a hole in the wall (grin). And interesting to follow the brief descriptions of the movement of various parties - ties everything in nicely and really shows the time passing in a sort of casual way. I still love seeing the characters come out - Otter's anger, Newt's sense of potential loss, Evervale's kindness...! So good. :) And Rill and Copper - too perfect! Loved it! And Blacksnake's reluctance to admit Notch's idea was a good one, heh. Followed so closely by the awesome thoughts of death and destruction to all lone humans, but running when he encountered the child. Beautifully placed. Just beautiful.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2013-04-08
The moment of Blacksnake's blizzard encounter is one of the pivotal scenes for this fic that I've had in my brain since Day 1 -- I'm so very glad that it translated from my grey matter to the virtual page with even some of the tension I had hoped it would!

Plus -- Peggy does deserve every ounce of credit for her work in this fic! She is a joy to collab with, and her heartbreaking turn of events for Rainpace here really grounded this particular chapter.
Peggy B.
New! Updated: 2013-06-27
Quick note: Thanks for the kudos, Mel, but I cannot take them, because all the parts you mentioned and liked best, were either ideas by Whit or even written by Whit or Holly.

EDIT: After rereading this part I finally come around to comment. I really enjoy to see so much of Winburn in this story line and his thoughts and how he makes decisions. I do not want to swap positions with him, though.
The Blue Stone cave part is one of my favourite parts because I liked the intro so much with Evervale being "soaked up in winter sap". What a great metaphore for working plantshaper magic in winter. And how logical it is to assume how dangerous it can be for the trees and plants. I also enjoyed to see complaining, tactless Otter who even managed to make his own mother bristle at his thoughtless words. What a great example of a rebellious teenager. :)
And of course the end just blew me away. That Blacksnake came THIS close totally surprised me and made me hold my breath while continuing reading. Great job, Whit!!
Laura Melis
New! Entered: 2013-04-02
Oh--stinking bad crab apples!!!!Dang--Blacksnake, that was not a fun surprise.

Right...I should start at the beginning. I love the way the interactions continue with the scouting parties. Windburn took the news of Notch's action pretty well, but I image he's going to chew that bone for a while. It's a hard line between something being good or something that can turn ugly in an instant. I have to side with Rainpace on the possible outcome of the humans next move. I don't imagine either set of locals searching the Fierce Ones out. And what a sad outcome for Rainpace's wolf-friend. It goes to show that there are sacrifices being made.

It's interesting to see the storyline that will mold the here-after of the tribe. It will change their routine and way of life. Really laying down a foundation here.

I have more to say about the end bit, but I don't want to give it away, so I'll just say it's a cool and mortifying little twist...
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2013-03-30
Ohhh! Finally a new part. I more and more notice that I'm like a serial addict, always waiting for the latest episode of my show ^^

Alright then. I apologize in advance for the wall of text I'm going to write here. Please let me know if I'm overdoing it.

I love the start here. I can't help it the way this is written is so very atmospheric. The tension of a quite early morning, the way the air seem to vibrate with tension and concern here is wonderful. Also I love how this demonstrates the "cell phone towers" the elves positioned through the land. The exchange was very well handled as well with a lot of charcter too it. I love how the event at the ice river rippels through the story. It is a great landmark for the story and Windburn dose show some emergency planning here and I think it works out fine. As said the atmosphere here is awesome! In no moment this story is to be mistaken as a "not so bad" situation for the tribe.

Oh boy. The part with Rainpace and Dreamflight was heartbreaking. Honestly, this was a great piece of writing. I love how the focus of what was going on with the humans suddenly shifted. It really brought across the moment an accident happens. Peggy I salute for you. Your writing has improved so much. The description of Bristlepelt here was painful to read and I felt so sorry for the poor wolf. Also kudos for making her snap at her elf. It's what I do expect from a wounded animal. Altogether I do love how full this part was with - again- so many characteristics. I did like the word-hunter's trips paying off here and Rainpace's moment of panic and realisation. Very true to life I think. It once more shows what a risky move it was to blow the horn. Dreamflight here might have been a bit passive but I liked to see her softer side and how supportive she can be. I felt bad for everyone here, especially Rainpace, but also Goldspice. It's not easy to make decisions with the head not the heart. Loved the little argument between her and Willow. Wonderful job on this one. And a heartbreaking one as well.

And the ripples spread out. I do love how the events really chase through the story and it all feels so big and universal. The crew at Bluestone Cave seems to have it the best at the moment but even here you can feel the tension and how the events in the other parts do affect them as well. Loved the part with Evervale being in shaper's trance. It's always good to see the POV from an elf we see less then others. Her insight here and the way she responses mostly emotional and not with words was a great way to help taking in the whole impact. Love the back and forth in this part. A special candy for me, of course was to see Muckabout fussing over Newt so much but also loved True Edge here. The whole storyline dose show the character’s faults and strong points shine so much. Wonderful, wonderful atmosphere here as well. Also like how they all start to prepare themselves for the Worse Case Scenario.

Uhhh... and the interaction between the cubs here. Copper can be really creepy. I can see why Rill is spooked by her here. This girl would do well in any horror flick. Love the description of the storm here. The pictures painted with words are really moody and atmospheric. I also like that the cubs here have their own little plotline. Again great to see their characters playing off each other so well. Something that caught my attention, weirdly enough, was that Greenweave is the only one sleeping alone at the moment. I wonder if there is a story in this or if he just wants to linger in the scent of his absent family.

.... Oh snap! That's not good! Cliffhanger! I hate you guys! That’s... oh boy I hope they think the boy just was blinded and assume he had seen things not there! Holly crap in a box! Love how Blacksnake here is plotting on his next encounter and killing the humans up until he spots one... one so young Love how he did saw similarities in his appearance and his realization of his age and .. Well how lost he'd been in the storm. HELP! This is truly a cliff-hanger. You guys know how to keep us on an edge!
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2013-03-30
Wow, this is another great installment! I really love seeing what's going on through so many different viewpoints.
It's great to see how the sending system works and how the elves are keeping everyone informed. It's such a useful ability which makes all the difference in a situation as difficult as this! I also liked seeing Goldspice act as the chief-in-action - she really seems to rise to the occasion.
But poor Bristlepelt ... I knew what was coming but it's so tragic because it's just an accident, and such a hard decision to take on all of the elves' part!
My favourite thing about the Bluestone Cave part was the description of how the treeshaping works or feels for Evervale! The interaction was very lovely, too, though you can sense the tension of the situation through it all.
The little piece about Rill and Copper was just cute - I really liked the glimpses at their characters through this, and it left me wondering what Copper really knows. I can understand that she's capable of unsettling Rill!
And the last one - oh boy! Speak of a cliffhanger! I hope this will be continued soon!
Login to add or edit your comments.

Back to Top | Home Page

Home | Characters | Art | Fiction | Resources | Links | Messageboard | Contact | Member Login

[Visual Design: Ellen Million | Sidebar Art: Rachel Vardys | Coding and maintenance: Ron Swartzendruber]
[No portion of this site's content may be used or copied without prior, written consent.]
[Send comments or questions about the site to | Report Web errors to | Page Last Modified 29SEP2012 01:17:35 | Exec 0.007 secs]

'ElfQuest' is a registered trademark. © Copyright Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. We're just playing in this sandbox!