Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 6)'
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New! Entered: 2016-02-05
|Snowfall is such the elder and Beetle is such the youngster that there had to be a mild tiff... with Windsong in the middle, of course!|
I liked how Brighwood compared the current humans' abode to the one from her childhood. Same people, but the architecture has changed over the centuries. Nice detail!
Dreamflight cares for her friends and doesn't often show it. So this was so nice that she could get "mad" at Rainpace and him even thinking of leaving!!
You can really see the generational difference between Windburn and Foxtail. She is filled with progressive optimism and he's all conservative and fearful.
My favorite line was when Crackle said, "I've changed". For Crackle to change ~ that says it all!
And Notch and the horn! So awesome he gets to play the hero! We'll never hear the end of it LOL!
New! Entered: 2015-01-13
|What beautiful, tense writing. Each scene is so powerful in its own way. Perhaps my personal favorite was the interactions between Windburn and Foxtail; I enjoyed this look at father and daughter and was grateful that Windburn was able to check his temper and keep her talking. Brightwood's recollections of her first interactions with the Fierce Ones were definitely reason to keep her awake. I also appreciated the ounce of humor at the end of this part, with One-Leg losing his false leg, but catching the fish. And I'm so thankful Notch had the horn!|
New! Entered: 2014-09-01
|For me, a lot of the pleasure of this installment comes from what I think of as "unusual interactions" -- seeing Snowfall, Windsong and Beetle together, and the ways their different outlooks mix and rub against each other; Rainpace and Dreamflight, kind of a random combo, and just getting to see Dreamflight relating to others outside of the little family group she is often tied to; True Edge and Crackle, also seemingly random, but with a lot to share between them (it's not often I think of them as related, but Crackle *is* True Edge's niece's daughter). I also really liked Windburn's attempt to turn the appearance of the FOs into a lesson for his daughtger, but I also got the sense that he really did want to hear her thoughts, based on her experiences observing the other humans, so that was a really nice moment of him respecting his daughter, and I hope Foxtail realized that on some level. :) It was neat to see both Brightwood and Foxtail come to similar conclusions about the FOs, who approach life so very differently from everyone else -- and understanding that is a key to understanding them as a tribe and a threat.|
New! Entered: 2014-02-22
|Ooo, this one was a nail biter!|
I love the calm, almost sweet interlude at the beginning between Windsong and Beetle, and the one between Rainpace and his elderly wolf friend. Both of these scenes and the one with Crackle's project really built the tension leading up to the climactic scene... which definitely had me on the edge of my seat!
I think One-Leg is quickly becoming a favorite character of mine. I love his 'tude paired with his good sense.
New! Updated: 2014-02-12
|This story is a pure adrenaline ride! Loving it! Between the calm before the storm back at the Holt (and Rill being Rill, that boy will end up in trouble I just know it). The interaction between True Edge and Crackle was great too, wolfsong comforting starsong so to speak, and the final scene with One-Leg, Notch and Pathmark had my heart in my throat, with the solution being brilliant and wonderfully dramatic. |
Seeing One-Leg's more 'rebellious' side is great, seeing where Notch gets it all from. Though One-Leg seems quite obsesssed with nutsacks, judging by the number of times he's mentioned them so far in this story XD
New! Entered: 2013-12-18
|Loved the interchange between Dreamflight and Rainpace, it really brings out what the event meant to different elves, and gives some interesting insights into both of their thinking - and the emotions driving them. I'm getting so fond of Brightwood's stubbornness and boldness. Really liking the look at Windburn and Foxtail here too! It's been a great chapter for some character building. Crackle's maturity here is a little heartbreaking to read, and it was great to see Thornbow's caring side come out again here in trying to help her through some of the difficult thoughts. And yay! Ending with more One Leg fun! :D Lovely dramatic ending here, I was hardly breathing. And the trout just made me laugh - too perfect! Great mix of fear and comedy there.|
New! Entered: 2013-04-08
|Thanks everyone for the excellent feedback! |
One of the HUGE challenges for a large stretch of this storyline is a fundamental problem that while the elves don't exactly know what is going to happen next, we as collaborators on the storyline know that the end result has to be the Fierce Ones leaving again, without really tangling with the elves at all. That means that for most of a month, a lot of the tribe is scattered at watchposts across the territory, freezing their tails off and with nothing really happening. It's been a challenge to try and balance the prospect of multiple "Mr. Exposition has a conversation with Mr. Talking Head" necessary to move along the story from day to day, while finding nuggets of Something Interesting to keep folks *wanting* to come back for more. Plus -- we've really been challenged to try and share the spotlight, so that every member of the tribe gets shone as being involved, and each team/each location gets visited for a moment to see what their unique take on things has been. It's been an enormous challenge, and I'm just grateful that you're all still hanging on for the ride!
New! Entered: 2013-03-18
|I think I should go back and read the series as a whole. What I enjoyed about this part was that it's beginning to bring it all together. I like the various character takes on what's going down and that they've had a little time to reflect. It really portrays all the characters well and it's so nice to see how they respond in part. I think the most gripping part of this particular Gathering piece was the incident on the ice. It was really scary to see One Leg fall in and know that humans were about to see the incident, just to make things worse. Interesting ploy of blowing the horn and how it had a two fold result...and yes, the plot thickens. This and the current topics at the forums makes me wonder how it's all going to turn out. This is a big project but I think we needed some fresh and exciting material to work with! Thanks so much for sharing this amazing addition!!!|
New! Entered: 2013-03-02
|And here we go again. My deepest apology in advance for all the poor fellow who want to read through the comment, but since this is a joined effort, I really want to give every writer on this credit :) |
I like the start of it. First of all because it shows us how news are spread between the scouting groups, and secondly because it's full of little, very telling, characterization. I flippin' LOVE Snowfall here. She's noticeably the oldest and most down to earth one in the group and dose show great skills as a responsible leader. Also it's nice to see how the three different women here bounce off each other, even get into a tiff, showing that they are all on the edge in one or the other way. The mood here is so quite but full of tension and I LOVE seeing this told out of Windsong's POV. Her perspective was missing for so long. Oh and I just loved this line: "Yet still under that she could feel the thrill of curiosity, which scared her more than the thought of running into the Fierce Ones" This is a great bit of characterization, and more so, I think it's something some of us can empathize with.
Oh-ho! More tension with the next part. I like how the theme of strained nerves and testiness continues. Also I really like how details from different parts always leak into each other. The news here and the weather. It somehow makes all of this feel like a whole story not just pieces that relate thematically. Anyway. It was nice to see the interaction between Rainpace and Dreamflight here. I have to say, through she still has some of her flaws, Dreamflight dose become more and more a likable, rounded character with this story-line. Her outburst, while seemingly sudden, and her throwback habit of pushing her need into the center of attention, still was understandable to me. I do wonder what was going through her head, it clearly touched a deeper rooted fear within her. Being left behind is a big theme for her, isn't it? Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part but I also do sense a bit of self-realization with in the words she used? Maybe? Hopefully?
On the other hand, I liked seeing Rainpace caught off guard by her and how he deals with Chicory challenging the chief, and further how she did kick loose more then she realized at this moment. The inner conflict Rainpace feels and the insecurity about how far they both would go, was very interesting.
"It was only the Fierce Ones themselves who showed no fear at trespassing where they were not wanted." ... What a chilling thought. This part was done so wonderfully detailed. I admire how this part painted such a vivid image of the surroundings and the ways the FO's live and act. They clearly seem like a very dominate tribe. Rough and intimidating, yet I feel fascinated by them. I liked the little insight into Brightwood and how her trauma clearly shows here. I also really like that, on the surface nothing here is really happening. It shows the tough long wait of someone who keeps guard and/or scouts, but it never is boring. The details taken in and the sense of stress to the watchers is clearly tactile.
:swoon: The part with Windburn, Foxtail and Thornbow was great! I love the interaction that's going on here and how Windburn seems to realize one or two things in face of danger as well about his ways, especially with his daughter. It's great to see him being able to look past her tone and focus on her words and take something from it. He dose -listen-. I really liked that. Also again I feel more and more fascinated by the FO's. There's something so different about them and so .. well impressive?
I also really appreciate how you guys don't just paint them as "monsters" that some might have made them into but people who have companionship and can laugh at each other and with each other and STILL are force to be reckoned with. It dose make the whole picture much more interesting to look at then a cut and dry villain would. But mostly the interaction here is great and how character plays a big part in how they deal with each other and even what they still learn from each other.
The talk between True Edge and Crackle was almost heartbreaking towards the end. I also liked how True Edge here is supporting Crackle and trying to reassure her while feeling so inappropriate to be the one doing that. he did show a very caring side here. Crackle was great here a swell. I liked how self-aware she was and how all what happened had turned her view of the world upside down. Oh and I LOVED the highlighting of her creativity here, and I had the same thought as True Edge. She really is the child of her father! Also, it's neat to see the shield Crackle was having on some of the pictures in development here and how much thought and use she put into it and brought out of it. Yeah for Crackle's imagination!
And it ends with a thrill! My goodness! The last but was really gripping in it's action and the more then dangerous situation. Again, so much to love here. From One_Leg's ... self ... to the details and the thrill and fear springing from the text. There are so many dangers out there and I loved the struggle of One-Leg and seeing Pathmark in an almost heroic moment here. Also I just could imagine the fear and shock on the Baha's faces. Somehow even if the line was short, it really did hit home for me how terrible this must have felt for them. All in all a great finish for this part. All the things set up by this and the payoff it draws back to events earlier in the storyline (Yeah I still remember Copper's warning!). This is just awesome all over!
I'm SO hyped to see more.
This was a great Part. So far maybe my favorite. I love all of them but this felt so full and round again. Thanks to everyone working so hard on this story to come together.
New! Entered: 2013-03-01
|Wow, this was another formidable installment! So much going on, I don't even know where to start. I just love how the puzzle pieces come together in these stories and make a whole!|
I really liked the quiet overture to this installment. Though there wasn't much happening, it showed well how tense the situation is. I especially loved the exchange between Rainpace and Dreamflight! Definitely filling in some blanks here and giving some attention to the aftermath of Chicory's challenge of her brother.
Of course, the tension always rises when we get to Blacksnake, Farscout and Brightwood. I really admire Blacksnake for his ability to sleep, so close to the humans! The realisation Brightwood came to was great and foreshadowed the same realisation by Foxtail. Indeed, it's a frightening thought that the Fierce Ones actually are LOOKING for trouble! Definitely liked seeing Foxtail's mind at work. She might be too blasé about the dangers (at least for her father's liking) but at least she shows she is attentive and does see them.
The interaction between True Edge and Crackle was great to see, too. The arrival of the Fierce Ones really changed our Crackle a lot, and though we've seen some of her fears in other stories, it's good to see it again, especially in interaction with True Edge. I liked how he tried to draw her out and comfort her, despite the feeling he's out of his water and if only someone else could do that for him. I think he did quite well!
And after the other, more quiet parts - oh boy, what a finish! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time! I had known about the horn and that it would be used at one point or the other but I didn't see how until the end of it. Good quick thinking by Notch! We'll see if this creates more problems in the long run but at least they avoided discovery for now.
And trust One-Leg to deliver some humour at the end! it was much needed and appreciated :).