Comments on 'Minding the Details'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-02-04
|Yay Cousin interactions! Sometimes you forget that so many of the tribe are cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. to one another. |
I laughed when Whitestag told him that there weren't and clickdeer are a few days journey from the trap. I enjoyed seeing him teach Tremor about trapping, its always good to have a good teacher. Its good that he offered to do it together, part of me feels Tremor may have gotten distracted if he was just being shown how to do it.
New! Entered: 2014-12-29
|Longshot learns trapping... I cannot even imagine how much a torture it must have been for the boy to sit still and be quiet for so long. I mean the name Tremor says it all, eh? ;)|
I also liked to see Whitestag not being an arrogant all-rounder who is picked upon by Notch and Willow. Ah, well an all-rounder he still is but at least he is willing and determined to teach.
New! Entered: 2014-04-11
|Seeing interaction with now lost tribemates brings a nice sense of history to our elves and this was a very nice such glimpse. I feel like I know both Longshot and Whitestag a little big better now and the details of why the trap was failing was excellent.|
New! Entered: 2014-03-01
|Cute story! Loved the situation, and the interaction between Whitestag and Tremor was really well handled - Whitestag comes off as a very kind, knowing teacher here. Great idea too, too have Tremor show some skill in hiding the trap and the reasoning behind it. Great to see a snapshot of Tremor growing up!|
New! Entered: 2013-01-25
|This was very nice! It's so easy to have the deceased and all their ties to the characters living today slip your mind, so I really appreciated seeing him with his little cousin here!|
I also really liked how Longshot's mistake is such an easy one to do - concentrating too hard on the details and failing to take the whole picture into consideration. Whitestag was a good teacher to him, I especially loved how he made him see the mistake for himself!
New! Entered: 2013-01-24
|Yay, glad to see this one up! What I really like about this is that is explores a bit of the relationship between two family members who I don't think we see together too often in stories (if at all?). It makes sense that Whitestag would be someone Longshot really looks up to and wants to impress. This shows a good side of Whitestag, too - he is patient with his younger cousin and really wants to help him learn :)|
New! Entered: 2013-01-24
|What baffles me the most here is.. yeah I kinda forgot that Whitestage and Longshot were related. Now it's almost painfully obvious. Well that sounds familiar |
This was a nice read. I relay like how you showed a young Longshot here making a typical mistake for someone inexperienced working what they have learned. Isn't that what happens to most of us? We focus so much on what had been told to us that we forget to take a look at the whole thing instead getting hung up on details.
I also liked Whitestage's skills here as an older hunter teaching a younger member of the tribe. I always guess that this is how it most likely goes ^^
Also I liked that he didn't point things out to his young cousin but made him see it by himself. I think that's the best way of learning:)