Comments on 'Weight of Worry'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-17
|This story has so many great components. I really like the touches of detail in the gathering, and the sense that Crackle and Newt are figuring out where they stand - that description of the boundary between adulthood and childhood is so poignant. I think one of my favourite touches was the way that Crackle countered Newt's pessimism at the end. Beautifully written.|
New! Entered: 2014-07-31
|I like how it seems like the antidote to Newt's worries is action, and him figuring out a way to contribute something and perhaps lighten the burden of worry for others, too, with the treat he's found. Very nice look at how even a small contribution can be valuable.|
New! Entered: 2014-02-13
|Seeing Newt find himself more and more in his tasks, while still worrying about being important and useful enough for the tribe is excellent character development, as is Crackle's doubts and fears. Nice little slice of life in the middle of all this tension.|
New! Entered: 2013-01-23
|Lovely story! You captured the mood perfectly and it is good to see how it affects even the most light-hearted of elves, such a Crackle.|
Was also nice to see how easily Newt takes over responsibilty, even such big ones as caring for his elders. He is going to be a very good healer, I am sure of this.
New! Entered: 2013-01-14
|I love that we see Newt's role as an herbalist here. Another thing I really like is that I often see Newt as an optimist, and here, we get to see the other side of that... and it's nice!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-29
|I think what this story does best is set the tone and atmosphere for the young adult elves at Bluestone Cave during the FO plotline. This is great for RP and going forward with more stories since it gives us a good sense of what Newt and Crackle are thinking/feeling at this time.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-28
|This is a lovely little piece - there is not too much happening in terms of outward action, so it doesn't take away from the insights in Newt's thoughts we get here, but enough so it's not only a a piece of reflection. I really liked all those hints at Crackle's feelings here, despite the story being from Newt's POV. You did a good job at bringing across that feeling of a period of life cut short that leaves Newt wondering if he is ready. Also, I agree that it is great to see Newt as a herbalist and how he worries for the tribesmates they are caring for!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-28
|There are so many little things in this story. On the surface it seems that not much is happening but if you read into it a little more and look closely on the details there is a lot showing :) |
Like Whitney said, I like seeing Newt in his role as herbalist and how serious he takes it. Also liked how serious he takes the task of looking after his tribemates.
I also liked the tension in the two youngsters here. You ca clearly feel their worry and I like how subtle you get that across with Crackle. I liked the feel of "childhood cut short" here and the feel that Newt has the feel he has to grow up faster in the face of the crises but doubts if he can. It seem pretty much like him. :)
Another little thing I liked is how in the "hunt" he relays on Browencoat who more of less carries him away ;)
Thanks so much for this one :)
New! Entered: 2012-12-25
|This is a great little fic! I love to see Newt's herbalism skills coming to the fore, and seeing how the contributions of gatherers is just as important as the contributions of hunters in keeping the tribe fed -- even in the deep winter.|