Comments on 'Lift Off'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2015-03-30
It really seemed so fitting to me that Fadestar's magic would emerge during this tribal crisis -- and I'm glad that it did in the service of her being tested and having to save the life of one of her best friends. Even though it's part of the much larger storyline, it still has a wonderfully intimate and personal feel to it. I like that the big storyline contained smaller moments like this, and that some of them were moments of triumph.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2014-08-09
What an adrenaline rush! Perfect way to reveal Fadestar's emerging magic, with lots of action and peril. Loved the description of what it feels like to overuse one's magic; hope she feels better soon!
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2013-01-01
This is an exciting new development and a great story to set it off! I loved how Fadestar wasn't even aware what was going on, just acting on instinct. Great work on balancing both the boredom of the start, with all the waiting and discomfort it entails, and the tension in the mad rush of the ending! It was really a rollercoaster ride but I enjoyed it immensely.
Kyna Hansen
New! Entered: 2012-12-29
So we have another glider in the fold! Excellent! My favorite bit was when Fadestar opened her eyes and saw the purple magic light. Instantly reminded me of the Purple Haze story and I liked making the mental link between a story about Kestrel early into her "gliding career" and Fadestar's newfound ability.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-12-29
Huh, it never occured to me, that this would/could happen to Fadestar. Stupid me!
Very excitingly written!
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-12-25
Congrats to you both! You put the reader through a rollercoaster here (as well as poor Newt & Fadestar)! Bravo to Fadestar for her unexpected development here -- and I do not even her the hangover she'll be suffering tomorrow... and the next day... and the day after that...
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
Yeah! Yeah! :D I kind of thought so, from the title. VERY well written, you two! It does make sense that it's about time the tribe got another glider -- looking back through the ancestors it seems there used to be quite a few, and often at least 2 or 3 at a given time. :) This may be an odd thought, but I wonder -- will Fadestar be considering a name change? The one she's got suggests the little girl pre-wrapping striving against physical weakness to me, but she's growing up and changing really fast these days! ^_^
Linda Aarts
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
Megan, you're right, there was some foreshadowing in First Patrol and in Paradise Lost, as well :) I'm so glad Mel wanted to co-write this with me, otherwise it probably would've took another year! And I love that Newt was the one to experience Fadestar's first flight with her (despite the dire circumestances!). Yay for another Fadestar/Newt story :)
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
Oh boy I need to shut up my inner critic.
Anyway. Linda I know this was a tough one for you and for me and this took WAY longer then we planned, but I'm glad to see the story uploaded and YAY for Fadestar developing this magic in times of need. Newt will take good care of her while she recovers ;)
Lyn Cavalier
New! Updated: 2014-11-18
Definitely a powerful moment and a great time for Fadestar's powers to show up! I think what strikes me the most is the depiction of what it *cost* Fadestar to save them. The bloodshot eyes, and the bloody nose... I think it will take a while for her to recover!

re-read this tonight: even knowing what was coming, it was tense, waiting for that moment. I do wonder what her recovery time was like here. That was a major feat for her first flight!
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-12-17
Ah ha! So that really _was_ foreshadowing in First Patrol! ;) It's a good thing Fadestar's powers showed up when they did O_O Nice job working some tension into this story, you two!

I'd be interested to write a follow-up training story if you're interested, Linda? How exciting to have another glider :D
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2012-12-17
!!!!!

I know what I was hoping for as soon as I saw the title, and was definitely not disappointed! What an awesome development! I love the alternating moods, from boredom and tension to fear and exhilaration! Great writing for this scene, and I'm really excited to see where this goes!
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