Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 4)'

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Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2016-01-31
Cloudfern is going to give Otter a rasher of schite once his wounds are tended to! What gall, pup!! Hope he will be put in his place for the sake of the group!

You can tell Blacksnake, Brightwood and Farscout are very, very old friends!

Glad Windburn has such a great friend in Thornbow. Such a stressful time, you would need your bestie!

And Kestrel as always is the Elder we can count on!
Ally Raidel
New! Entered: 2014-02-18
Otter totally stole the show here. Completely. I want to call him a scamp but that doesn't quite seem up to describing a kiddo who will crack a joke right after getting his arm chewed on by a WOLVERINE (I assume.)

However fascinating as that was, it can't eclipse the possible meaning of the wolf pack following the Fierce Ones. I'm dying to connect these clues from Glow and Copper to the presence of this pack.
Sofia Lindstr÷m
New! Entered: 2014-02-11
The revelation about the stranger-pack's relation to the Fierce Ones was quite a shock! To know the danger has been lurking at the borders for so long, and now it's shown up in an "upgraded" form (forgot to comment on the clear technological steps forward the Fierce Ones had made from the first encounter, loved that detail!) is thrilling and horrifying all at once. Glad to see the back-up gear and food made it into place.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
A thrilling read. Every moment is tense and intense. The scene between Otter and Cloudfern, and the stinkbear is particularly engaging. I *really* hope that Cloudy later gives Otter a talking to, and a take-down regarding the youth's stupid arrogance. And I really really like the defensive side of Cloudfern, and how what he does doesn't do to him what it did to Redlance during the war.

I, too, though Brightwood's image of Beetle w/ flowers... just funny. I do hope that Beetle somehow finds a way into her aunt's favor.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-12-13
It continues to be fun to work on putting these parts together! And to try to cover a variety of viewpoints, to "check in" with the various scattered teams of the tribe.

I especially appreciated the scene at Bluestone Cave -- the demonstration that even at that "safe place", there is some danger. I loved Otter's brashness -- not helpful, but somewhat understandable. But more, I LOVED the example of how even a "gentle plantshaper" can be a formidable fighter! Go Cloudfern! I really admired the creativity of his attack.

Finally, my favorite bit was the reunion of Blacksnake with Farscout and Brightwood. :) The three are old friends, but we haven't gotten much of a look at them interacting since Brightwood's return. I loved that this scene demonstrated the sparks inherent in the way Blacksnake and Brightwood butt up against each other... and, I hope, the friendship and respect that underlies their natural instinct to spar and poke at each other. I always love seeing someone stand up to Blacksnake and give him what-for. ;-)
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
Thanks for the comments on this storyline, everyone! While I loved writing the Brightwood/Blacksnake/Farscout scene (watching Farscout duck out of the line of fire is fun -- I can only imagine how many times his ears have been scorched in the past between those two), the Cloudfern/Otter scene at Bluestone Cave was maybe the most fun to write. I love getting the opportunity to showcase characters in unexpected roles, and any chance to remind folks that Cloudfern has teeth and knows how to use them is an opportunity not to be wasted!
Laura Melis
New! Entered: 2012-12-11
Sorry it's taken so long to get to commenting here. There's a whole feel going into to this as it contributes to the over all Gathering Storm story line. I think this collection would make a great foundation for a graphic novel. It has purpose and a quest like quality. It could really take off and it certainly will change the everyday routine of the tribe and the environment that the young ones now are growing up in. Perhaps the adults in their lives were more concerned with being good providers and capable with their hands, but the young ones may have to incorporate a little defensive skills into their growing up process. I can see it here with Otter, wanting to take on the (wolverine) creature. To me, he wasn't just flexing his muscles, but it seemed like he was trying to be a brave warrior type. An position that might need down the road. I know Crackle's concerned about more than just hunting....
So--this makes me wonder if there will be anymore F.O sitings in the winter, now that they've been into the elves territory. I can see why Thornbow is frustrated. Their home is being tresspassed on by three sets of humans, and as time goes by, it's only going to get worse. How long can they hide out without being detected...?
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-12-09
I feel pretty bad being listed as an author on this...Holly, you did an outstanding job with Kestrel's travels, which I didn't feel knowledgeable enough to tackle. Those segments really felt like they tied the whole story together, as she really is the link between all the different groups. I particularly enjoyed her sending conversation with Farscout (though I can't remember if you or Whit wrote that?), as it did a good job showing the comfortable friendship between a few of the tribe's eldest.

And for the rest of the story, you guys were just masters at setting the scene. I'll never know how you can paint such a vivid picture of the backdrop and the elves' reactions and expressions. I really enjoyed the tense conversation between Brightwood and Blacksnake, and the butting heads between Cloudfern and Otter.

Outstanding job, and I am really looking forward to seeing what comes next.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-11-14
Finally came to read this. Finally had enough motivation to finish it. ^^

So let's do this again like the once before by commenting more on the single parts since I know different writers put this together :)

The start was a good one. It gives a neat look on the situation at hand with Kestrel as a traveling link. It was nice to see a bit of Longshot in this bit and I liked how this part gave me a feel of how far apart the elves are, and how secluded they are in their tasks. Especially striking here, to me, was the moment Kestrel went out of sending rage of the others. It had a weight to it. While I think that Kestrel often is beyond the rage of others it had a punch in this situation and I congrats to writer on making me feel this.

I really like the strange pack of wolves in this. I don't know why but I kinda sense that in the end they could prove to be the more permanent danger. It has a nice sense of mystery to it and adds even more to the tension. I liked the atmosphere in the second bit. I could imagine the imagery very clearly and eve feel the weather and hear the voices of the humans in the distance within the silence winter brings. I also like the tension within the group. Brightwood had a nice fire to her here and it's neat to see her on eye-level with Blacksnake. Also liked the closer look on the humans and how they seem .. well normal but still like a force to reckon with.

I do like to see the current situation of each party out and watch. It was nice to see Thornbow and Windburn sharing a moment here. And I agree with Windburn. I think the waiting is the worse. Sitting and being stuck is terrible when you would rather be able to do something to improve the situation. I have to admit, I was a bit surprised to see Thornbow so ... hmm what's a good word, so spiteful toward the Amber Hunters and the Painted Face humans. It's not that it doesn't fit him, I just wouldn't have expected it. I do kinda like how Windburn is seen as a planner and plotter here. I think all elves have these thoughts, but Windburn is the one who has to make the decisions and therefore has to take more into account when thinking about such things.

Again I have to bow my head for the logistics in play in this storyline. The Cell-phone towers and Kestrel as a traveling link to supplies the groups with needed things. Here I kinda liked the end the best with the hint at the strange pack as a additional danger. Also liked how the groups interact with each other. To the point but here and there is still the hint that they are more of a big family and not only people with the same task.

Ahhh this might be my favorite part, for so many reasons. First of all I enjoyed the portrait of Otter here as a over-confident youngster. I like how he's "used" to show us a little of that feel we all have now and then: that hunters are the heroes and someone like Cloudfern who is not primly a hunter might be looked as a weaker wolf in the pack by a young elf like Otter. It's funny how much he made me think of a yearling trying to butt his head with an older wolf. I liked this conflict a lot (and it too made me think about how Otter regards Newt and his decisions. Dose he look at him as a "weaker" elf then himself?). In the end I adored Cloudfern here and his keen mind. The experience he showed here and that he, if he has to, can kick serious butt. Loved it as a lesson for Otter and to show that even if not a hunter you can still be a tough fight.

I love how this is coming together. I can't help but admire the details and thinking that goes into this story line. I like how the Strange Pack is used here and all the details that stick out to me. Blacksnake really is my favorite here. His keen sense and his grim down to earth attitude do suit him well. The idea of the FO's being close since a longer time is chilling but has so much potential.

And it closes with Kestrel. Neat. I like that she is front center and end in this. Like a framing device. I hope with them that they won't have to stay until spring traveling and following. Looking forward for more here.

All over I like the atmosphere in these and how it all seems to build up to something.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-11-01
Wow, guys, again, you put a lot of work into this story line.
Starting with Kestrel's journey was great to highlight how scattered the tribe is at this point. The strangeness of not being strong together as a pack comes across very well.

Huh, I was not aware of the fact that Holt wolves are bigger than normal wolves... shame on me. No clue who Zerran was, though.
And I loooooved the cat fight between Blacksnake and Brightwood. The dialogue and their argumentation was great. My, Brightwood really comes across as a bad mother, doesn't she? I like this switch of "classic role models" with Farscout and Brightwood when it comes to their daughter in general.

Heh, Thornbow really has nothing good to say about the humans, eh?! Liked his matter of fact talk about the humans killing themselves.

The action scenes at Bluestone mountain were an awesome change in all this waiting and observing and the overall tension. I so liked Otter and Cloudfern here, the latter showing a completely different side. More of this!!!!

Hehe, I cannot get rid of the image of the what-if of Beetle confronting the FO with flowers and sweets. Would love to see the FO's faces. ;)
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2012-10-28
I'm already hoping that the next part will be up really soon! This is turning into a great drama. It's got so much character development - I love how Brightwood shows her teeth here and how Blacksnake eventually accepts it. Brilliant. I really like seeing the friendship between Thornbow and Windburn appear so comfortably here, and who can't agree with Thornbow's wishes? I was cringing along with Otter's boasts and worried that something like that might happen - great to see Cloudfern play such a defensive/warrior type role too! There was such a sense of exhaustion and resignation with that group's approach, wonderfully atmospheric. Looking forward to reading more!
Kyna Hansen
New! Entered: 2012-10-08
It's thrilling to read this all put together! I'm excited to see more and inspired to make my own contributions.
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