Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 3)'

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Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2016-01-30
I love Farscout's hug which hints that though he loves her, he REALLY wished Brightwood wasn't there!

Willow being exhausted and anxious, doing that "just one more thing" that's so essential! Very nice At Home detail!

OMG, Copper is so creepy!! When oh when will the tribe realize that the girl is an encyclopedia of arcane ancient knowledge??

The snapshot of Honey not wanting to let her chief down was very touching. She is so quietly earnest!!

And Rill will very predictably set off on his own! Uh-oh!!
Ally Raidel
New! Updated: 2014-02-18
I love the interplay between Farscout and Brightwood. He cares for her by trying to shield her from the starker partsy of reality, and she shelters him literally by guarding his sleep. It's so touching...

Copper- wow. I kind of had an inkling that Glow's story was foreshadowing before but now I KNOW something strange is afoot.

I also really loved the part with Willow. We don't often check in with the ones at home keeping "the home fire's burning" in a conflict situation, and it's really interesting to watch the various clan members contribute.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2014-02-11
Love all the plans they're cooking up! And Copper and Rill got their moments to catch the reader's interest this time around; great and almost creepy dialogue for Copper and Rill being very cub-like and longing for adventure has me on the edge of my seat worrying about what stupid things he might get up to XD
Lyn Cavalier
New! Updated: 2014-12-31
I *love* Copper/Notch scene! She really does have one-up on him (or more than one) and he's really out of his league in knowing that!

My favorite, though, was Farscout and Brightwood's embrace/reunion. For some reason, that was the most touching for me.

2014: the scene with willow, showing how hard it is to wait or "hurry up and wait" is so hard... Well-written.
I also appreciate the small glimpse of honey and moss, and that he brought his harp!!!
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-12-13
The first scene here was a really great, vivid reminder of how close in her own past the Fierce Ones encounter is for Brightwood. And it's great to see that she isn't going to go off half-cocked, just because her anger towards them is more vivid. She clearly has the warrior's instinct to bank that rage and just keep it simmering, to use it but not let it rule her.

Otherwise, my favorite bits of this part belong to the children. :) It almost seems like Copper is trying to be helpful in her own way, but unfortunately the adults don't know to try to use that, yet. I have a feeling that Notch is going to facepalm SO HARD once her ability becomes known. ;-) I also love how Rill boils the situation down to his own personal drama; that feels so realistically child-like to me. I can't wait to see how that develops.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
Notch was certainly the most fun to write in this fic -- I just love him and his fluffy sporran to pieces! And the Copper/Notch encounter fell into place when I realized we hadn't seen her reaction yet to much of this storyline yet -- and that it's possible that when she's coming at this all sideways, she's coming at it with an information source no one else in the tribe could even imagine... FUN! (Notch + Copper? Fun squared!)
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-12-09
Wow, just so much going on in this story! First of all, I really enjoyed seeing the reunion between Farscout and Brightwood, and the fact that Farscout finally gets a chance to REST after all he's been through so far X__X Great job setting the scene on that part, too.

Good to see Willow had _something_ to focus on for a little while; she seems to be going stir crazy for lack of something to do. Great idea to cover the wrapstuff bundle with furs to make it less noticeable!

Moss and Honey make an interesting pair, and I'm glad to see this snippet showing how the two work together. I found it so endearing that Moss wasn't about to let a crisis like this keep him from his music!

Notch and One-Leg make a GREAT father/son pair. It was quite funny to see all the swears Notch came up with here. If there's anything One-Leg can take pride in, it's passing that along to his son XD I agree with the other commenters about Copper...so creepy! But also intriguing! I almost wish there was a story just from her point of view, just to know exactly what's going on in her head! Such an interesting power she has!

Oh my goodness, the kids...man do I love them! Rill and Cinder are just great here. I love how Rill just sees this as a great adventure and Cinder just wants them all to play by the rules. He is certainly his father's son!
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2012-10-28
Yay! Another epic addition! This is beautifully written. I really love the pairings, they seem to really come alive as they play off of each other - from the sweet, tense reunion of Brightwood and Farscout, to Moss's determination to hold onto his music and Honey's need to live up to Windburn's standards... Notch and Copper were just fantastic as well - loved the way that Notch will take her deadpan statements as something intended to be humorous! I think Rill really stole the show at the end - all the cubs' desire to help was so sweet and so natural, but I really love that glimpse into his mind as he's waiting for Pathmark to knock out One-Leg and Notch so he can go out instead! Precious!
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-10-22
Thanks for keeping up the dark mood and tension! I also had some fun in guessing who wrote which part, which was easy at some points and wasn't at all at others. ;)
First part was quite descriptive and analytical. I liked to see the elves way of thinking and tackling a problem. A hunters point of view speaks from Brightwood and Farscout.

At the scene with Blacksnake and Windburn I liked - of course - the end the most. *sigh* Father and son... will it ever end to be awkward between them?

I liked to see Willow not wanting to be in the middle of things and instead concentrating on the things at hand and worrying a healer's worries.

One of the least expected POV's was Honey's but I also liked it: her fears and her being proud struggling with one another. Very Honey-like! And Moss! Awww, no wonder muscicians are so popular with women. They are just the coolest guys on earth! *sigh* ;)

And here comes the Notch part... and I almost ALWAYS enjoy stories which include Notch. It is difficult not to. One-Leg and Notch together? Even better! In this part one can easily see that not only One-Leg has a big vocabulary of swearing. Is it inheritable I wonder?? :P But "chiefy-sweets"?? Seriously? Maybe Notch should apprentice under One-Leg for a bit longer. Hehe.
The comparison of his speed and that of his mother cracked me up, too. Hilarious and sooooo true!
This easy-going mood made the encounter with Copper even more creepy. Uwaaah, what a scary child!

We also got a glimpse of little chief Cinder again at the end. Fabulous!

All in all I liked to see the different stages of fear in this story. From real fear and frightening thoughts/worries of Honey and Willow to matter-of-fact/down-to-business concealed fear of Brightwood to the "Who cares?" attitude of Notch.
Well done!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-09-29
There finally I managed to read this story.
Finally have my senses together enough to focus ion reading :) As before I try to go over this more in scenes since I want to do every author justice ^^

I might advice you first read the story then this novel of a comment XD

First part was interesting to read with the details about the Fierce Once and how they live. I am also very impressed by how calm and even tempered Brightwood is and how she is more about realizing the danger and judging their options so carefully. I like how she came up with options and thoughts and just dropped them because they seemed to risky to her. It's what a mature person would do. I could see some of our youngsters more talking themselves into what a great idea that was, then contemplating the downsides.
Her interaction with Farscout was very sweet here too. It dose have a very isolated mood in a way, which dose drive home a feel of luring danger. The addition with the pack was a nice one. I wonder if that will play a part later.

I also like the interaction of Blacksnake and Windburn here and how Blacksnake is such a forward thinker. His line of reason is nice to follow and I like how Windburn follows it and adds his own thoughts to it seeing the wisdom in his father's pondering. It's also a great way to use Kestrel. Poor lass. Another glider in the tribe at this point couldn't really hurt. I also love the mood between the senders here. It's all very calm and quite but there is tension to be found in both parts so far. The kind of tension that crawled through your skin and makes you extra careful.
As a last note I really liked the last bit of this part. During the sending it was kinda easy to forget they are father and son even if it's written out, if you know what I mean...

And another show cast of quick and bright thinking. I like seeing those left at the holt working as some kind of control center. It's great to see more of Nightstorm. I think the storyline dose help showing some of her strong points. I liked the interaction here and seeing the cubs being so eager to be helpful :)
And oh boy I understand Willow so well here. Her fears and her restlessness is so well understandable. And I liked the whole thinking behind the operation. Being stealthy never before has been so important.
The whole feel of this is still great.

Oh the part with Honey and Moss was cute. I like the description of Northview Ridge. It's so understandable why they picked that spot to scout when you read about the good view. I do like Honey here. It's good to see her in a role that makes her more then the jealous beast but shows her as a person growing with her challenges. Moss made me smile here. His spirit makes him a good match for being out there with Honey I think.

Okay... The part with Notch and Copper scared the daylight out of me! Copper is SCARY here! And the hints she made here made my skin all cold. Oh Notch please don't do anything stupid! This was well written stuff. I like Notch interacting with a cub like Copper and that he compares her to Crackle which makes sense and at the same time it couldn't be less true XD
The Setup here is great and I am very curious where it will go (and at the same time scared of it!) And It's great to see the horn coming in use. (It also makes me wonder if the Painted Faces tribe will come in at some point since I Think they brought this piece of history?? I'm not sure anymore. Gotta reread the story I guess :P )

Oh and I like how the jesting and careless joking of the elders of Rill just spark the ideas in his head. It's just so childlike to take this stuff serious and underestimate how dangerous the mission really is and it's just like adults in fear to forget that kids around them are not aware of their joking. Loved the interaction here and loved that look into Rill. I do like the little one and he and Cinder are really a great pair and set apart very nicely. I have the feel even from the little we see that Cinder might be more aware of the grave situation they are in while for Rill it's an adventure.


I did enjoy this even if it was mostly set up. It had great scenes and the mood was there to carry it. The feel of what is coming is great.
Laura Melis
New! Entered: 2012-09-27
I had to go over this a couple of times, just to get the details in mind. It's really neat to see the different pov's that were given. How the elves had to adapt and fit into roles that they didn't necessarily feel comfortable with, such as Honey. I thought it was a great way to include so many (all?) of the personalities and see how the tribe funtions as a whole. It was a good bit of insight to the internal workings, especially for those left at home.
Great job--team!
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