Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 2)'
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New! Entered: 2015-12-18
|When I was reading this I thought, "Oh Dear!" early on by the reaction of Chicory and Rainpace. Windburn masterfully handled that one! |
I am glad Windburn finally has the opportunity to act as a chief after so long! You know, for this type of emergency situation!
My absolute favorite part was the exchange between Nightfall and Thornbow. The boot hitting the wall summed up their whole relationship in one gesture! I want to see much more of this couple! Get them out of the "footnote" category!!
Amazing job, everyone!
New! Entered: 2014-02-17
|I love how seamlessly this comes and touches on many members of the group (all of whom I am just getting to know.) It underscores the tribal connectivity between all the members. |
Of particular interest to me for a number of reasons is Chicory's reaction. As a mom, I know that fierce mama bear response to a threat to your child. When a situation is ongoing(as opposed to the adrenaline of an immediate and passing threat like a child going too close to the road) there comes this part when you realize that you aren't going to solve the problems with brute force. Your emotions and your senses are still ramped up, but your game face needs to come up and you've got to be a critical thinker. I'm REALLY interested to see where Chicory and Rainpace's parental instinct to protect takes them as the plot thickens.
New! Entered: 2014-02-11
|Man, I'm so behind on this, but it seems I have a lot of excitment to catch up to! |
Poor Rainpace and Chicory, their reaction capture the emotions of parents knowing their child could be in danger to a T. Good thing the others kept their heads!
It was very interesting and thrilling to see a challenge in the middle of the crisis (and quite a relief to see it solved peacefully).
Also, I love One-Leg and his comments, and the scene between Thornbow and Nightstorm was sweet :)
A question though; did I misread or did Windburn fail to mention Starskimmer when he told Rainpace and Willow where everyone would be stationed? I saw that he said the plantshapers and yearlings would be going to Bluestone Caves, but no rock-shaper? Or was Starskimmer not assigned yet?
New! Updated: 2014-12-31
|I love how this storyline, more than any other IMO, really shows Windburn as Chief and as a strong one at that. The moment of challenge between himself and his sister, we see him as strong and commanding but also as wise - the fact that he knew just what to say to get her to back down, and that it was true and pointed, was perfect. I am SO glad to see him as chief, and this has given me more respect for him than I may have had before. :) Great writing.|
The ripple effect will continue, long beyond this particular series of stories, b/c there's SO much to fill in!
Edit 2014: reading the storyline straight through today truly shows how seamless the telling is. It's like reading a good book! Only better because the authors are "known" and so are the characters. (I could say that on any of the chapters of this saga.). It's interesting to me how the various connections seem more easily realized... So many cousins that I forget about.
New! Entered: 2012-12-13
|After what felt like the relatively focused nature of Part 1, I really liked how the action "exploded" here to follow so many different threads of character actions. My personal favorite part (which I didn't write) is probably how One-Leg mercilessly needles Blacksnake when the latter meets up briefly with the returning word-hunter party. A nice touch of sibling interaction (always fun to be reminded that Blacksnake will always be "little brother" in OL's eyes) in a scene otherwise filled with serious purpose.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|Working on this has given me an even greater appreciation of what it takes to put together such an epic collaboration, and I didn't even do a lot of that work!|
I liked the exchange between Foxtail and Cinder, and the cubs' behaviour in general in this chapter as they try to make sense of what's scaring all the adults in their own ways. :) I really loved the parts with Kestrel, too -- as a character, she really seemed to be a key peg in the end part of this chapter, and was just overall fun to read about with the gliding and the relationships she has with so many of the tribemembers.
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|This is a serious "ripple effect" story -- this really shows that once the stone has been dropped in the pond, the ripples just keep going and going and going...|
My favorite scene to write in this fic was the Fadestar scene -- I really wanted to touch bases with her again and to see what she was doing, after having spent so much time in the run-up to this in "First Patrol".
New! Entered: 2012-12-09
|It was neat to see how well all these parts by different authors ended up fitting together. It was a bit of a surprise to see how Rainpace and Chicory reacted towards Windburn when normally they're both pretty easygoing and calm, but it just goes to show how protective they are over their daughter. Little Cinder's reaction towards them made me smile a bit XD |
Yay for seeing more Thornbow and Nightstorm! I think they make such a great pair and I was really happy for the chance to see how they react in this situation. Thornbow's little joke about Nightstorm having time to finish his clothes was amusing ;P
New! Entered: 2012-09-23
|I love that we get to see so many reactions to the whole development! What a great effort of everyone involved :).|
The introduction with Chicory is nicely done - very realistic, and I especially liked little Glow playing in the background, oblivious of her mother's worry. And it sets up the next scene very well. Oh boy! Her challenge to Windburn was very intense. I really wanted to give her a shake, though - understandable as her fear is, she was losing sight of the big picture ... and of other things, like the fact that Windburn has a cub of his own. It was good to see him put his foot down! As uncomfortable as it is for everyone involved, as the audience I really love to see such tensions develop!
I also liked that the next scene was written from Fadestar's POV - it gave an interesting angle to the interaction between One-Leg and Blacksnake. One-Leg is fun as always, even though there is a much more serious undertone to him than usual. I also loved the part about Beauty and Fadestar wondering if Notch shared his bond's ambition, especially the description of the tension like a snake.
I absolutely loved the interaction between Nightstorm and Thornbow - they have such a nice dynamic! It also was great to see first some private, intimate interaction and then the picture of the tribe as a whole. Great atmosphere, too!
And last, Kestrel's part - I really loved that this one spent a good deal on her inner thoughts. It's a hard situation but I admire how level-headed she stayed throughout it. Her interaction with the others really shows off how scattered the tribe will be by these events and how much that weighs on everyone's minds. All in all, the atmosphere and mood is really great. Lovely work, everyone!
New! Entered: 2012-09-19
|Alright :P Since this is a collab by so many people I will give each part my full attention by commenting ^^ I hope this comment dosn't get TOO long through. |
I think the intro with Chicory sets a good start. The worry of a parent in this situation get's it going nicely I think. Chicory comes off as very believable here and I really liked the scene with Glow playing so innocently in the back. It seemed kinda true to a child being so blissfully unaware of what's going on.
And as much as I understand their worry as young parents I wanted to shake both Rainpace and especially Chicory when they talked to Windburn. I do understand their worry and I understand that both are scared, after all this is their first cub and they are both young compared to the other fresh parents around. I really liked Windburn and Willow here. Especially Windburn showed some very strong leader qualities. Understanding but more then capable to put his foot down. I think the moment where he pointed out that he had a cub himself stuck the most to me. Very tense scene and even if I do not agree with Rainpace and Chicory's behavious, it made for a very realy and intense moment. As said. It's belivabe for young parents to loose the big picture out of sight. Great to see how a crisis can spawn this kind of tension in our tribe.
Oh boy. Each of these scenes so far held this tension that you can feel before a storm. The fear botteling up and showing different faces. I liked that this scene was written out of Fadestar's POV. It gave a nice feel to it. The talk between Blacksnake and One-Leg held a lot more to me then just what was told. And I loved how serious One-Leg came off even through he clearly still has this grizled charm here. What I also REALLY liked was the subtle part with Beauty and Fadestar's musing i f wolf and rider are alike in this regard. It really stuck with me.
I gotta say I really like the dynamic of Nightstorm and Thornbow. It's also neat to see how Nightstorm get's a bit more to show of herself. I found it very nice to see her worrying and trying to do something within her limits like fixing cloth. The atmosphere hre I thought was mainly given by the things we got told about the rest of the tribe and the wordles gestures between the departing people. It's kinda amusing to see the talk of the other story being picked up again from a different POV.
Oh and a thunderstorm to top of the mood. I can see how Kestrel would be torn in so many different directions in this situation. I like how levelheaded she is through. It's kinda heartbreaking to see the tribe getting scattered like this especially with so mayn new live and new found families around.
Altogether the feel here was very tense for the most time. It'Äs neat to get a feel of our tribe being prepared and the mood is well delived. I think the Titel fits well here. The feel of a storm coming up and bringing something unwanted with it is strong in all of this. Great job everyone :)
New! Entered: 2012-09-19
|When revising the part I co-worked on I did not read the other sections on purpose. I wanted to get surprised like all the others. ;)|
I really liked the incorporation of Cinder in the second chapter, mimicing his father and acting like a little chief himself. Loved this detail!
Furthermore I enjoyed reading about the wolf dynamics going on in the pack. Beauty obviously is ambitious, which makes me copy Fadestar and ask myself if Notch is, too. ;) Somehow or other it promises change.
The exchange between Blacksnake and One-Leg was something that stuck, too. Loved to see how these two brothers deal with one another... and of course was amused about One-Legs choice of words as always.
Thornbows point of view was also interesting, his pragmatism and trust in his chief. He and Nightstorm... I wonder.... ;)
All in all a good collection of reactions to the Fierce One's threat from different tribe members. Happy to see this story line develop.
New! Entered: 2012-09-17
|Yeah! It's wonderful to see so much work come to fruition! Definitely a powerful storyline. Looking forward to more. Thanks for all the hard work everyone :D|