Comments on 'Missing'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-08-03
My favourite line: "Raven's grief had become an all-consuming thing, a stormfront of its own, as driving and uncontrollable as the force of nature which had spawned it." Just beautiful. It's so sad; to see that Raven has so much grief, that he can leave lover and children to join his recognized in the ocean, and the weather is fitting. I'm really left feeling for Cloudfern here, the return to the holt with that sort of news must be heartrending.
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2012-12-24
The loss of the three in the flood was bad enough, but for Raven to feel the loss so deeply that he felt the need to do what he did... Tragedy is definitely one of your strong points in writing! And interesting that the last thing Raven said to Cloudfern did not constitute any sort of promise -- I did notice that. Poor Cloudfern! I don't believe he could have done anything more.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
I've been curious about the details around Raven's death since I first join the Holt and this story didn't disappoint! Very heartbreaking, but also touching.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2012-12-17
This story is simplpy heartwrenching. I don't know what else to say about it...
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-12-06
A really haunting story -- the way you can tell that something is off about Raven, even though he isn't dramatically despondent or out of his wits, and that quiet ending, with the footprints heading into the sea... And I also like that the story emphasizes that while you can try to understand the depth of grief that can make a Recognized give up on their own life, it's a decision that impacts so many others.
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-10-31
Goodness, was that sad :( As always, you know how to tug at the heartstrings. As others commented already, it was interesting to see Cloudfern lovemated with someone besides Greenweave! I'm actually curious now to see more of these two - they seem to have a different dynamic than Cloudfern and Greenweave.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-09-19
Whaaaat???? But... but... everything was going to be well, wasn't it? Oh, Whit, you definitely got me here, I did not expect that.
Wonderful!!!
There were so many small things I liked here, too. To see Cloudfern with one of his other lovers (he did have them before Greenweave); that was smaller than his lover; Ravens connection to the dead elves I was not aware of; Cloudfern being witty and empathetic and just finding the right words to get his lover out of the rain. And of course, the multiple reasons for Raven to do what he did.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-09-10
Heee! Melanie, I got a grin out of your comment about the shock of seeing Cloudfern with another guy. ;) I deliberately played with that in the opening lines of the story, taking as long as I could before actually identifying Raven here, knowing that folks will assume it's Greenweave that Cloudfern is standing beside.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2012-09-08
This was heartbreaking :(. I agree with Mel that the weather and the mood really drives home the empty grief Raven must have been feeling. Poor Cloudfern, you can feel how helpless he is and how nothing he does or says seems to make a difference to Raven. In the end I wanted to shake Raven and yell at him that his daughters want their father to come back to them, regardless of whether they found the others or not!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-09-08
This was heart wrenching. All the description of the setting, the weather and the all over mood, left me feeling the emptiness Raven must feel. Cloudfern was like a door out of this but to far away to be reached with so little energy left ...

It's sad to see how Raven went and I found my heart breaking again for Cloudfern. The poor guy lost so much. It makes me understand later decisions he made better. From being willing to take Greenweave back when he could and why he has such a hard time getting over Willow's wild healing.

This is just heartbreaking.

(And somehow it'S silly but it's always kinda hard for me to imagine Cloudfern with another Guy XD Yet they fit very well together.)
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