Comments on 'Waiting to Sleep'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-01-29
|So many feels. I felt so sad that she recalled Farscout's lack of sire, and as I read it, she seemed to almost feel guilty for her being his only parent. So sad.|
New! Entered: 2014-12-24
|Ice is such an interesting character! Love the insight in her thoughts here and how she's worrying for her cubs. I have the impression that she loves them both, but in her own way. And I'm surprised that she let Riskrunner get so close to her during her pregnancy with Goldspice!|
And the end was sweet!
New! Entered: 2014-04-22
|Interesting to see that Ice was so aware of her short comings as a mother and that she had sympathy for Farscout having to grow up with her as only parent (tribe or no tribe). This story made me like her more as a character. I can only recall reading about other elves talking about her, so to get a look inside her head made her more three-dimensional as a character. And excellent forshadowing!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-23
|This story was not only sweet, but also intruiging! I really liked that you showed Ice's resentment through physical discomfort at the pregnancy, and annoyance at the idea of having to spend so much time nursing. Yet at the same time, it comes across clearly that she does not resent the cub herself (nor her older brother) in any way. Interesting and surprising that she allowed Riskrunner to be denning with her nearing the birth. Interestingly, even more than two expectant parents, Ice almost came across to me more as a surrogate mother with Riskrunner waiting for "his" child -- if that makes any sense? Regardless, I really loved this story, and the ending was very cute!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-10
|It is so nice to see Ice's point of view on this matter. It is so different to what one expects of a mother-to-be... but nontheless very believable. It is just the way she is.|
But I am happy for Goldspice that she did not grew up with her mother but with her father. ;)
New! Entered: 2012-12-07
|I really like how this is an intimate moment, one that you can imagine many Recognized couples sharing, but that it still conveys the sense that this *isn't* usual for Ice... and therefore is all the more valuable a glimpse for us to get of her.|
New! Entered: 2012-10-31
|It's nice to see that Ice does care deeply about her children in her own way, even if she doesn't like to outwardly show it. I love seeing what was probably a rare tender moment between her and Riskrunner.|
New! Entered: 2012-09-06
|It is nice to see more of Ice... she was "odd," but seems true to character. The fact that she tolerated Riskrunner sleeping near her is a neat thing to see... and that she allowed him the rare touch, and found comfort with him, even for a few moments. :) I like, too, that she wanted something better for her 2nd child (even if it's not something she could give)|
New! Entered: 2012-09-03
|That was a great insight into Ice's mind, and I really love that we got to see her side of the story here while the original poem was the side of the fathers. It's great to see that while she isn't able to give them motherly loves, she cares about her children. I especially liked that despite everything, she allowed herself to be comforted by Riskrunner in the end.|
New! Entered: 2012-09-03
|Very nice work here! Ice is a very odd duck and you did very nicely here in capturing her unsympathetic quirks while still leaving the reader connected to her. Good job!|
New! Entered: 2012-09-02
|I found it touching in a strange way how Ice found comfort in the fact that her child will be loved even if she can't give this love herself. |
It showes she might be not the mothering type but still has feelings and wants her kids to be happy. Her worry toward Riskrunner and the silent comfort she allowed here were very touching as well.