Comments on 'Unwanted Attention'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2012-12-22
|I like how I had a hard time choosing who to root for here. Foxtail has been trying her best to be on good behavior and should be given a fair chance, but Rainpace has all the right in the world to doubt her, what with her past behavior. I love those kind of stories; so many layers!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-16
|The fact that they've both changed, and how that's impacted their friendship - thank you for writing and showing it to us! It's important to see.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-07
|I really appreciated getting to see this exchange, which starts the process of the two getting back on a more familiar footing with each other after a long estrangement. It still leaves me wondering whether Foxtail understands why people are slow to trust that she's turned over a new leaf. I can see her thinking that she has done a great deal to try to prove herself, but she really is working against a long-established example that she herself set. But I really like that she is confronting the issue head-on here, and talking about it openly. That's so much better than just letting it fester.|
New! Entered: 2012-08-31
|It's really great to see these two friends interact - I agree with Whitney that they are both coming from a valid point of view which makes their interaction all the more interesting! But most of all I liked to see the hints at Foxtail still being her old self - it's very amusing, for one, and I had to laugh at "You're going to get me into trouble!" And it's fascinating because you never know for sure what's going on in her. I can't wait to see how she will develop!|
New! Entered: 2012-08-14
|I got to admit -- you had me snorting coffee all over the keyboard with Foxtail's saying "You're going to get me into trouble!" I think both characters here are coming from very valid points of view -- and it's great to see Foxtail being so straight-to-the-point in airing her gripe. I agree with her that it feels unfair, but I also agree that Rainpace is right to have his reservations and suspicions, based on her past behavior. I'm going to be fascinated to see what develops next for Foxtail in the long run!|
New! Entered: 2012-08-06
|I liked to see the interaction between these two. It seems even if they are still friends the friendship has changed to a more causal level, which is kinda weird to see, but also very realistic. |
It's also such a nice conflict and I think a reasonable development with all the changes that happened in their lives.
Yet, the most of all I liked the ending. This glimpse of Foxtail being her "old" self. I like it how you set her up. Whenever you have the feel you know now what's going on behind her green eyes you add a hint that makes one doubt gain about her true motivation and how much she really changed. It makes her SO interesting!
New! Entered: 2012-07-23
|Angie, thank you very much for this story! I loved to see the relationship of Foxtail and Rainpace change and grow. Friendship isn't always easy, especially when doubt and distrust endanger it.|
Happy, to finally have her on the word-hunting team, which is promising for even more lovely story.
The following lines stood out for me somehow: "Rainpace knew the touch of her mind very well. Over the years, it had raised everything from heat to heartbreak in him." This nailed down their friendhisp perfectly. It's so easy to imagine her doing this, not on purpose, it's just her nature.