Comments on 'Shot in the Dark'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2015-12-19
I love the way this story shows off the advantage of sending! Both teaching and reassuring is given an extra, wonderful dimension when you can touch minds, and that was really demonstrated here!

Seeing Crackle's reaction to the Fierce One's return, now that some time has passed, was very interesting and told me a lot about her personality now that's she's started to grow up. Thornbow's comment in the last scene about those who'd faced the Fierce Ones before her was excellent! I really understand why it hit home.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
I really like seeing how seriously Crackle is taking the threat and knowing that she is trying to improve her skill... It's more than just irrational fear. She's being useful too. Thornbow is a good mentor here.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-12-10
This was such a great look at the lingering impact of recent events on the tribe! I love how that sense of changed perspective permeated everything. I also really enjoyed seeing the ongoing mentor/student relationship between Thornbow and Crackle here -- I'm really glad you are continuing that! They make a really interesting pair. I couldn't help but laugh, though, when Crackle got knocked over by that deer! I wonder if that will become a running theme? ;-)
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-08-14
Oh it's nice to see these two together. Loved the lesson about trusting your instinct when using the bow. I learned it the same way :)

I also liked the hunt and how wise Thornbow comes across here interacting with Crackle. It is a further prove that everyone in the tribe helps shaping the youngsters and cubs. I like that idea.
It's also good to see how dangerous a hunt can be if you are not that experienced. My Crackle has a few rough encounters with deers :P
Her fears and worries felt very real to me as well and it was good to see Thornbow dealing with it so calmly and reassuring.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-07-18
It's fun to see the relationship between these two characters develop further! MORE! I want MORE! ::grin::
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2012-07-10
That was a great piece of interaction - it was nice seeing a follow-up to Crackle's not-so-great performance with the bow in earlier stories (always a treat to see Thornbow teach the young ones!), and it's really great to see how they are dealing with the threat of the Fierce ones hanging over them. I can well imagine that Crackle's lively imagination is running rampant with her right now, and it's good that there's someone as solid and down-to-earth as Thornbow to calm her down a bit. Great work, you two!
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-07-02
What is it with Crackle and ungulata running her over? :D
So far I have not made a connection between those two in my mind but you made a great job in describing a believable interaction. Guess hunting and arrow practice are always good subjects to get in touch with Thornbow. ;)
Regarding the date this story follows the FO's incident in the winter... On one side I am a bit disappointed for not getting any information of what happened in between, not even a hint if this is at Bluestone cave or near the den trees. On the other hand I think you did this on purpose to not reveal anything in advance, although your story implies that nothing too dramatic must have happened. But my, I am so curious!!! You definitely stirred my anticipation!
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