Comments on 'Empty Hands'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2014-01-30
|Ooooh, eerie. :) I love it! I think the imagery/feelings that Copper describes parting with the torque really make it wonderful - thoughts/experiences that a cub wouldn't have any experience with. Brilliant use of those memories and I think you do a nice job in setting both a link to Goldspice as an aunt (with her comfort while Copper's parents are gone) and mentor. Definitely interested in exploring this 'haunting' further....!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-21
|Seeing other people's reactions to Copper's ability is very intriguing. Goldspice being understandably freaked out, but at the same time not wanting to worry the cub was well portrayed. The memory was hauntingly beautiful, yet terrifying coming from a small child.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|This is a really cool story on so many levels! It's a great glimpse at how Copper's still-not-understood magic works. It's also wonderful how poignantly appropriate it is that she shares this with Goldspice -- both because of the connection to Goldspice's mother, and to her vocation; and because of the stiuation that Goldspice is in at that moment, acting as the tribe's back-up chief, and hoping that she will NOT have to become the chief in reality! No wonder it leaves Goldspice unsettled!|
New! Entered: 2012-07-18
|I had two different goals with this story: first, to set the seeds into motion of Copper moving toward becoming Goldspice's smith apprentice, and second, to establish that Ice is one of the ancestors who's "haunted" Copper. Seriously, considering how obsessed Ice was about her craft during life, what might she be like in death? (Not sure I ever WANT to see that question really answered!)|
New! Entered: 2012-07-12
|That was intense - I can well see how Goldspice was unsettled by this! The dream was very sad and dark, and so vivid. I loved the image of the "empty hands", and I agree with Mel that it makes sense that it stuck with Copper the most and it was the first thing she repeated.|
I really like that the story behind the dream stays a mystery, too :).
New! Entered: 2012-07-11
|That was kinda intense. I don't know why but it did in fact unsettle me a little. I can see why Goldspice is unsettled as well. This might have hit home somehow but maybe she can't really explain why herself. |
I liked the way the first thing that Copper said was "My hands were empty". It was what stuck hardest in the memory she dreamed and so it made sense that it might be the first thing she'd say even if other things in the dream held more weight for the reader.
I'm not even sure I want to know the whole story behind it. I like the mystery in it :)
New! Entered: 2012-07-03
|Oh, that's a story after my fancy! Dark, mysterious and with lots of open questions. I am really looking forward to how the plot around Copper will develop and when the elves realize her... special talent. I wonder if you will explain more about the torc one day.|
New! Entered: 2012-06-19
|Ohhhh.... I love this. Copper's very vivid "dream," and how it's shared w/ Goldspice. I wonder if the smith will share about it w/ her brother. And poor Copper's "empty hands."|