Comments on 'Family Mysteries'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2016-05-23
|It's nice that all the elves in the tribe are kind of related to each other... I had forgotten (or never realized) that True Edge was Beetle's uncle! I like this four year old view on death and how to come to terms with it coupled with the adults shielding her from the concept a bit.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|My favorite moment here is when she goes over and gives True Edge a big hug. Somehow, that's not something you picture little kids doing too often! He doesn't seem like the type to invite it. ;-) But I love the idea of little Beetle's empathy showing through, here.|
New! Entered: 2012-07-17
|It's great to see that Beetle was such an attentive and curious child early on, and I really liked how she understands the world around her already - like knowing that the adults will stop talking when they see she's awake ^^. The child POV felt very natural and realistic here, and the language suited it very well.|
The interaction with True Edge was very nice, too - it's always great to see some characters interact we haven't seen do so before, and I liked how he explained his work to her. The sending about Lynx and Sunlight was heartbreaking, knowing the full story behind it that Beetle doesn't know yet ...
(One minor quibble: "Those others in his memory, Lynx and Sunlight, were her own uncle and aunt..." - Err, Lynx was her grandfather, and that was mentioned earlier in the story, too.)
New! Entered: 2012-07-10
|I like how Beetle was such an attentive child so early on. How she already tried to figgure the world out and piece things she knew together. It's Something she dose still today just on such a higher level with more experience and knowledge about the world. |
I always like seeing characters together we haven't seen together yet. It was a nice demonstration too of how everyone in the tribe kinda helps teaching and shaping the cubs. SOme more some less. I liked the hints at what yet still is hidden from Beetle... Reading this after reading stories about her and her father in tension is kinda weird, but not in a bad way.
I also liked the language you used here for the cublike POV ^^
New! Entered: 2012-07-08
|Awww, little Beetle is soooo cute! I love it how you mix in pieces of her grown up personality, e.g. her curiosity and her scientific thinking. It's amazing how much she already realizes and notices of her surroundings and the doings of her elders. It's so cute how she thinks of her mother making everyone else happy... without actually getting HOW she does that. :D |
It's good to see True Edge getting more spotlight and seeing him from another angle.
All in all a very sweet and sad story just fitting for the recent events.
New! Entered: 2012-06-27
|This story captured the world through a cub's eyes very well! Beetle's innocent questions about dead tribemates and how she secretly listens to the elves sharing memories with Starskimmer felt very much like something a child would do. Knowing what happened to Lynx, the sending with him, True Edge and Sunlight was heartbreaking.|
New! Entered: 2012-06-19
|Thank you so much for showing this - and for giving us a glimpse of True Edge with Beetle... not shown very often, but still important. I'm glad that he took the time to answer some of her questions. And of course, they only make for more questions. :)|
New! Entered: 2012-06-13
|The world through a child's eyes and all those secrets the grown-ups seem to have - I think this was so well portrayed in Your story. Little Beetle's natural curiosity and empathy getting True Edge to open up and share a treasured memory with her. And I never realized Flash died when Beetle was a cub. This is one of the stories where You have the feeling of getting a glimpse right into the flow of the Holt's life.|