Comments on 'Earned'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-12-11
|I really loved this sentence describing why Windburn wanted to go out on the hunt: "He liked to see what was happening, and to know just how much risk was being taken." This whole piece is great - I like how it touches on the changing relationship between Foxtail and Windburn as their personalities shift, but also that it really gets inside Windburn's head. I 'see' the other elves as he would, through your words, with that sense of constant evaluation and assessment. The tension is noted, potential causes are listed, and it really shows the logical mind that's taking note of far more than the superficial.|
New! Updated: 2015-11-20
|I like how Windburn notices that Foxtail is a "different elf" when away from Notch. Now he can TRULY see what she's really like when there is a mission "that matters" and when she's away from undue influences! The question is will she be as independent from Notch in the future as Rainpace is now?|
New! Entered: 2012-12-24
|Ooh, good one! I liked this look at "in-between" Foxtail, between being, well, a bit of a brat and the somewhat more responsible elf she is now. Also, like others have said, it's also about Windburn changing -- nice to see him learning that leadership is as much about trust as control. Poor Notch! Foxtail's airy attitude made me wanna SMACK her! Especially after she talked him into helping her convince Windburn to let her join the word hunters to begin with. Ungrateful brat! ;) LOL. Can't wait to see Notch's story of joining the word hunters!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|I really like seeing this event from Windburn's point of view and I am glad to see that he is proud of his daughter (if still somewhat wary). I agree with some other comments that it was a nice touch to show that short exchange of words between Foxtail and Notch.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
|I really liked that this was from Windburn's POV. I'd like to see it from Foxtail's someday, too -- what she was thinking, what she understood about his decision, and so on -- but this feels like a key thing for us to see, not just that he made the decision, but the thinking behind it. I'm glad that it shows an evolution in their relationship.|
New! Entered: 2012-07-22
|It's really good to see more about Windburn and Foxtail's relationship and how it has developed since Whispersilk's death. I agree with Mel - it's not only Foxtail who has changed but also Windburn. He seems to be more willing to trust her and to show her that he that he values her. That is very good to see :).|
Loved the flippant exchange between Notch and Foxtail - I would love to know more about his reaction, too! I hope we will get to see his side of the story one day, too.
New! Entered: 2012-07-10
|I can't help but think that this is more about Windburn developing then about the changes in his daughter. It's good to see he can be proud and trusting toward his wild daughter. Sometimes it seemed he couldn't see past her but I think with the one bit about her being a different elf, when away from Notch you might have pinned down something. |
As Whitney I like the short exchange between Foxtail and Notch and it makes me wonder how he'll feel now that he's the one staying back.
New! Entered: 2012-07-08
|Go, Foxtail, go! :) Good to see finally written down what was already known for a while.|
That's a big step forward in the realtionship between daughter and father, too, I guess. I really liked how you touched the undercurrent of tension going with several elves, like One-Leg and Notch.
New! Entered: 2012-06-27
|Always interesting to have a look at Windburn and Foxtail's relationship from his POV, and what he thinks of how she's matured since the death of Whispersilk! The added appearance of Notch and the comparision between him and Foxtail really shone a light on how much Foxtail has changed, yet stayed the same.|
New! Entered: 2012-06-18
|Foxtail's inclusion was a good one, I think... though I'd love to know more about Notch's reaction... and how he finally makes it onto the team of Word Hunters.|
New! Entered: 2012-05-31
|Foxtail's flippant exchange with Notch left me smiling, and I really enjoyed seeing Windburn taking this step and giving this opportunity to his daughter, to see what she'll make of it!|