Comments on 'The Gathering Storm (Part 1)'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

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Ingrid G.
New! Entered: 2015-12-17
This is one of the first stories I read when I joined last year. Now re-reading it I appreciate each character's depth even more! ... Everyone here is so SCARED! In their own unique way! This was so real I felt anxious for them sitting her IRL!!
Tah-marien F.
New! Entered: 2014-02-18
From the first time I read this I remembered Brightwood's brashness and One-Leg's sending ability.
Now I see more of the movements of the other characters; how everybody fit together in the emotional puzzle, and the underlining fear.
I really liked beginning my journey in River Twine Here.
Ally Raidel
New! Entered: 2014-02-17
Oh wow, this is great. I love the way it hops from one member of the clan's reaction to the next while maintaining a gripping flow. I honestly think my favorite part, though, is how Blacksnake plays off of Windburn. They're great foils for one another, and as I'm getting my intro to RTH going through this plot line, it particularly makes me want to delve deeper into that relationship.
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2013-05-25
Wow! I'm definitely impressed by Windburn as a leader, here. Most especially (as Blacksnake pointed out in that one scene) the way he's managing the tribe based on the individual abilities and personalities of each member. Like deflecting Foxtail's sharpness at Goldspice being in charge by making her feel useful in the role she was given. I also loved seeing him in action as a chief-father teaching his cubs the skills of *being* chief, in asking Foxtail for opinions and making sure how much Cinder was following the situation, etc.

And I agree, it was great seeing such a diverse set of reactions from the tribe, yet all woven together into a coherent harmony of fear!

Overall, this was a very well-written, suspense-building section of the story. :)
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-12-12
This was a fun story to write -- it's been a real opportunity to sit back and simply try to imagine how past history has influenced Windburn as a chief. It's too easy to play characters as observers who are unaffected by what's going on around them -- and such a fun challenge to show everyone as equally involved and equally impacted by a storyline.
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-12-09
This was an amazing first part to this story. You did a wonderful job of including as many elves as possible and showing the range of thoughts and feelings each of them had about this impending disaster. Windburn showed himself to be an amazing leader in a crisis; I was in awe of how he switched from shock/fear to leader mode in just a few seconds. Also nice to see Goldspice stepping into a leader role in his place. And what a cliffhanger this part is left on!
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-08-10
I liked how the news of this just dropped like a bomb in the middle of the tribe, but you can feel the way that for some of them, it's almost a relief to be able to act. Great set-up for the action to follow, showing how in a crisis like this, everyone has a role.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2012-05-05
A wonderful start to a thrilling event! The Fierce Ones's status as horror legends was well portrayed by everyone's reactions and the explanatio of the plan to defend the Holt easy to follow. All the emotions of the POV characters felt realistic and I really have no more words to describe how excited I am to see/participate-in-writing what happens next1
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-04-20
SO ... wow. I knew one part if this already but not the rest. It's so intense in what it wants to say. I love how the feel of fear and "somethings up" passes through all parts of this. You really get the feel that something is just not right and the reactions of the elves here are really realistic I think. Some in utter panic and fear and some are just trying to cope with the situation and what it means to them.

I think Windburn really shines here. He's calm and prepared and not in a bad ass way but as I always imagined a good leader. Not spreading false hope just down to the facts and giving the impression he knows what to do for the moment.

I felt the mood gripping my own chest when I read this and it's neat to see the interaction between Windburn and Goldspice here. We didn't see much of them together yet and it's so neat to see Goldspice as the second in command while he's out with his daughter.

There were so many lovely little moments of affection and support here that I fail to point them all out but I guess the moment between Windburn and Cinder touched me the most.
Also how Blacksnake and Windburn seemed to be both still a bit untrained to share a moment of simple love and pride with each other.

Really well done. I am looking forward to see more of this and I am curious about Brightwood here as much as about the rest of the bunch. But her reaction when she arrives her lifemate promises to get interesting.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Updated: 2014-12-31
I'm glad that this is up! It's good to see the immediate aftermath, and I look forward to reading about what happens next!

Edit 2014: what struck me this time was just how the split ups And divisions really seemed to throw more random pairings together, and make me wonder how new relationships might have been forged. I also appreciated the parallel between what Windburn told Blacksnake and what Goldspice said to Windburn.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2012-03-31
This is such a great reaction story - I loved how you wove in small reactions from everyone, so that even though the story is centered around a few elves prominently, we still get a pretty full picture of the whole tribe. It's great to see how calmly and clear-headed Windburn reacts - really makes me feel that our elves are in good hands with him! Can't wait to see how this storyline continues :).
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