Comments on 'Discoveries'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2012-12-24
This had a very serene feel to it. :) I love it when the difference of their skintones is showcased in artwork, and you managed to do it in *narration*! That's saying quite a bit, because I am not one of those people who automatically pictures things clearly when I read a story. But here, I could SEE the pearly glow of Newt's skin and the tanned brown of Otter's. The only nitpick I can think of is that I can't quite visualize how Otter would use a loincloth to hide his face. Interesting that in this case, with the pair of youth with budding love, that it's the older one who's got the shy crush, turning the usual story on its ear! :D
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2012-12-18
I like the contrast of two friends haning out, with one of them trying to hide his crush on the other. The color of the shell was a wonderful image to add, and Otter's reaction to it was sweet.
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2012-11-04
These two are just so sweet and awkward in this story! It's interesting to see Otter, who I usually think of as so headstrong and confident, blushing and being a little unsure of himself. But I like that side of him!
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-07-15
Oh yeah, awkward teenagers and their hormones! :D Wonderful situation between these two. You definitely keep up the tension in this story arc.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-03-26
What I thought was especially sweet about this was how Otter's feelings make him turn almost poetic -- comparing the inner and outer shell of the mussels to the contrast in their skin tones. It makes me think that someday, he's going to have some luck in love... although that day doesn't seem to be today.
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2012-03-26
Lovely story - it really felt like a glimpse into everyday life for these elves, I like the casual backdrop of the river, and how Otter's feelings are starting to really show through. Great way to further that storyline and give us some insight into Otter! :)
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-03-21
I was shocked when I first read this story (along with "Setting Sights"), since I still have this mental image of adorable, sweet little-kid Newt. I know elves aren't as twitchy about these things as human culture, but Otter's sudden sexual interest just struck me as a little squikky -- I've thought of them as brothers for too long, so it'll be a challenge to shake that impression!
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2012-03-19
I like seeing the snippets of developing thoughts/feelings. Poor Otter!!!
Emberra Owen
New! Entered: 2012-03-19
I love this! It makes me smile to see the awkward growing of Otter's feelings, and not acting on them. Its so fun. Hopefully he'll act on them one of these days.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-03-16
Ahh there he found the green stone for the knife. Neat :)
This sounds like a nice summer evening. And ohhhh Otter got it bad.
It really has nice calm summer atmosphere. ^^
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2012-03-15
That was a nice snippet, very atmospheric. I'm curious if Otter will act on his feelings one day!
Login to add or edit your comments.

Back to Top | Home Page

Home | Characters | Art | Fiction | Resources | Links | Messageboard | Contact | Member Login

[Visual Design: Ellen Million | Sidebar Art: Rachel Vardys | Coding and maintenance: Ron Swartzendruber]
[No portion of this site's content may be used or copied without prior, written consent.]
[Send comments or questions about the site to help@rivertwine.com | Report Web errors to webmaster@rivertwine.com | Page Last Modified 29SEP2012 01:17:35 | Exec 0.011 secs]

'ElfQuest' is a registered trademark. © Copyright Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. We're just playing in this sandbox!