Comments on 'Parched'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-06-17
|Windburn is such a good chief that I think Starskimmer views it as a personal challenge to "distract" him! She doesn't truly try, though, as she too knows the seriousness of the situation. I wonder how you came up with an ant problem? Very real!|
New! Entered: 2013-02-21
|Woah! You did manage to take me by surprise with those ants. Poor Starskimmer -- OUCH! >.< I also love how her reaction was first mostly one of wrath at the loss of her brew (I have so been there with a dropped/spilled cooking project every now and then), even more than the pain of the stings. And poor Windburn, too, double-counting supplies like that. I like how he managed to stay reasonably undistracted by Starskimmer when it was frivolous and flirty, but he was instantly all attentive when she had a problem. :) There's aa good chief for you! But what I also really love about this story, is that it shows the drought *itself* as a severe threat. A bad enough one that it brings home even more the feeling about the fire, of "What NOW? We didn't need this TOO!" I agree, the ants were a really wonderfully realistic problem, and very nicely written out!|
New! Entered: 2012-05-03
|Interaction between Windburn and Starskimmer - which I thus far haven't seen a lot of and therefore enjoyed a lot -, as well as a well thought out and realistic bug problem!|
New! Entered: 2012-04-17
|Ooooh, what a good prelude! ;) It definitely casts a dark foreshadow, but without being dramatic or anything. Just a daily life scene, and that`s what I liked most.|
It was good to get reminded once in a while that Starskimmer is a rock shaper. And I enjoyed the flirty interaction between her and Windburn at the beginning. Seems no one is immune to her charme.
New! Entered: 2012-03-29
|I really liked, here, getting a look at a sort of normal-day interaction between two tribemates we haven't seen together very much... but also that it isn't really a "normal" day, and that the concerns about what's going on in the wider world do intrude and cast a shadow over things. Great way to make a story serve several purposes!|
New! Entered: 2012-03-21
|Very interesting on a number of levels. The character interactions are great here, and I love both the foreshadowing of the disaster we knew came later (that terrible forest fire), and the physical consequences of the drought upon the elves' environment. Great stuff!|
New! Entered: 2012-03-07
|That was a great look at the everyday work of the tribe - too often I forget about the fact that the life of the elves holds just as much routine as ours, not just glorious hunts and fun playing in the river ;). I especially enjoyed seeing Windburn's down-to-earth, diligent handling of his responsibility, and the interaction between Starskimmer and him. "A chief's work never ends", indeed. And it shows so well that everyone is affected by the droughts, even insects, and that small things can be harmful, too.|
New! Entered: 2012-03-07
|I love seeing Windburn's way of working for his tribe here. I love seeing that more "dull" responsibility of keeping the stock up, flashed out here. Windburn's ability to thin ahead and regard and control what they might need to do to not get into a hunger crises was great. |
Also love that it showed that even small things can prove harm to the tribe, like a group of ants sneaking into the store. Loved Starskimmer's way to end them It did feel a bit like "This was personal, ants!"
The last bit made me almost sad and still I did admite Windburn. Starskimmerw as so right "A chief's work never ends" not even when he relaxes.
New! Entered: 2012-03-05
|Amy, this is so well-written! I really love the description of how the drought affects everything and everyone - and how even the ants are looking for moisture. What a good prelude to the fires that we know resulted from the drought... :)|
New! Entered: 2012-03-02
|This was a really good story. You can really tell then Windburn is always thinking about what to do next, always moving. He didn't even get too distracted by Starskimmer when she first appeared. I enjoyed seeing the interaction between Starskimmer and Windburn, and this story showed Starskimmer's powers, and how tough it can be for her to do something relatively simple.|