Comments on 'Impermanent'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2012-12-13
What I liked best about this story is that it feels even to us like we've been waiting for a long time for Dreamflight to come to her senses -- so it's very satisfying to see her make a start on that; but even better, I felt, was the fact that she largely comes to these realizations on her own, based on her own observations. I think that's so much more effective than if she had started on her "change of heart" after being lectured by someone else. It underscores that since this situation is really a problem of her own making, only she can really get herself out of it again.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2012-05-04
Ouch, all my sympathy for Dreamflight! The inclusion of how time-telling isn't really a Wolfrider thing was fitting with the theme of lost opportunities and the story was a real roller coaster of tension. Had me feeling strongly for all the characters all the way through, even Newt, caught up in animosity he never asked for or deserved.
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2012-04-03
Wondeful sight into Dreamflights own emotional world. And so delicately told! I really enjoyed reading it and admire your empathy for her situation. You explained her reasons totally believable and using the elves lack of time/long life span as a plausible reason for her long hold grudge... so clever.
I also liked the desciption of Greenweave. Glad to see some edges on him!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2012-03-07
I'm so glad to see this finally posted, Suzenne. I was hoping it would.

This felt like a punch in the stomach through. I hope it's a good wake up call for Dreamflight and I hope that not all is lost but I'm sure she'll have to work for her relationship to her father getting better again. Rightfully so.
It's neat to see the images you use in this and through I agree that Dreamflight wore out her sorry I still felt her pain when she realized what she had lost and can't get back : Time.

A very tragic outcome of the drama around her family. As Said I hope she'll not run away but gather herself up and go into action.
Emberra Owen
New! Entered: 2012-03-02
I want to say poor Dreamflight, but in the end I think its mostly her own fault. Its not like people are going to wait forever, no matter who they are, they need to move on. Its just kind of sad that she didn't realize that the time had passed.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2012-02-20
Ooooh... I can't tell you how poignant this feels... I'd almost feel sorry for Dreamflight, but its really her own doing! It will be interesting to see how and if she tries to fix things... and whether Greenweave will have any of it!
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-02-20
Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is a clueXfour which Dreamflight has need to be hit with for YEARS now! I'm grateful she's finally waking up to reality and beginning to smell the stinky perfume of the fallout from her decades of self-pity and self-absorption. This was a painful first step for her, but maybe now she can get her head out of her tush and start developing as a character, instead of being eternally stuck in her self-pity-party.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2012-02-17
I'd say, poor Dreamflight, except that my pity for her is tempered by exasperation. Her self-absorption really came back to bite her! I wonder if she will finally act on it ...

I really liked how you illustrated the passage of time in this, and especially that Dreamflight had such problems reconciling her expectations - of Newt's traces being small, like the child she still sees in him - with the reality. Really showed well how stuck she was in her own world!
Heidi Henderson
New! Entered: 2012-02-17
I really like how you've incorporated the whole sense of time into your story. I really think lots of folks can probably identify with that sudden feeling of realization that time has slipped by, and that some things become a lot harder to accomplish or fix the longer time passes.
Guido Klein
New! Entered: 2012-02-17
That was intense! Reading it You just fall into the story and get tangled in it. Dreamflight's POV and the insight into her feelings is so realistic and well written. And that realization in the end by looking at the tracks how much time has passed is a wonderful way of showing the Now the wolfriders live in as well as DF's circle of recurring feelings towards her father.
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