Comments on 'Brightmetal'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-04-14
|Am I the only one who feels like Ice's death was "Fated"? Like, she didn't just practice metal-smithing, she WAS metal-smithing! That it was just a matter of time, through the centuries, until someone, anyone, came across a troll blade. And why wouldn't one considering how an elf could live for thousands of years?? And the irony that it was her Recognized who found it. OF COURSE she would eventually find herself to a troll cave!! And then the inevitable. :(|
New! Entered: 2013-04-28
|Beautiful imagery all the way through. From the sea-cliffs, to the tragic, unyielding fierceness of the tunnels, every setting just dredges up emotional turbulence. I really like seeing Sparkle and Farscout bond together here, and Riskrunner (nearly) holding his own against Ice. It's really a powerful masterpiece that showcases Ice's obsession and the reactions of those closest to her. Wonderfully written.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-21
|The build up had me on the edge of my seat and the description of Ice's death was horrifying! A great look at both her, Goldspice, Farscout and the elves' history with the trolls.|
New! Entered: 2012-12-15
|With a mother like this I really wonder how Goldspice turned out so normal. Those childhood memories of not being wanted by her own mother must have left some traces, right?|
I enjoyed reading more about Riskrunner. At the beginning of this story I found him pretty annoying but it seems there was lots of his mothers wisdom in him... although he might not have been able to bring it into use as efficiently as she did. But well, against such a stubborn, egocentric person as Ice, who woudn't rise their voices?!
It was also pretty cool, to get more informatin about Foxsly and her - not so effective - attempt to talk to the Trolls. It is also a good reminder that all elves of our tribe are aware of the Trolls living under their territory.
I felt well entertained by this story. :)
New! Entered: 2012-12-13
|Really powerful story, full of dread and delivering on that promise in the end! It's a fantastic close look at Ice in all her imperfection, which makes a very fitting epitaph for her; but I also really appreciated that it gives us a multi-faceted look at Riskrunner, and showed us some of his imperfections as well. The interaction between him and Ice as fascinating, as it's such a different look at what a relationship between Recognized elves can be. It does make you wonder how the two of them together produced the largely drama-free Goldspice. ;-) But then, you look at some of their other relatives -- like Farscout, and Easysinger -- and it's a little easier to see.|
New! Entered: 2012-03-06
|This was such an enjoyable read. I can only eco all the things that have been said. I love the details and the look on the ancestors here. |
Most of all I just love the interactions. Between Windburn and Riskrunner, Riskrunner and Ice and their daughter, between Sparkle and Farscout... they all feel very real to me and you can sympathize with each and see how different characters play off of each other so clearly.
Ice truly was a special one and I felt anger myself that she'd place her craft over her loved ones but at the same time I felt that this is who she is and she never said differently.
Love the flow of it too. How a simple event turns into tragedy and in the end made an impact on some of the tribe and made them what they are today, mostly Sparkle who took her mothers craft. Great work!
I also like how... well short and quick Ice end came. Well like might not be the right word but that switch from being overly confident to the harsh cold pay off from her action was great and felt painfully real to me.
Love how this is not only a event that happened but also a very great character study. Thanks a lot for this read :)
New! Entered: 2012-03-05
|This made me sooooo sad! Though I have to love how it goes from joy at a discovery, obsession, and then deep sadness, and bitterness. Riskrunner is right though Sparkle shouldn't have to sacrifice for her mother's obsession and in the end she had to sacrifice something immense, her mother's own life. It makes me want to hug Sparkle, and tell her everything will be okay.|
New! Entered: 2012-02-21
|I had the opening scene for this written and just hanging in limbo for at least two years -- I loved being able to use a "Sea Lions Cave" like landscape feature, and in general just wanted to do more with showing some of our elves on the coast!|
New! Entered: 2012-01-18
|Wow, this was a fascinating read! I absolutely loved all the details and information about the trolls, but most of all I really enjoyed having a closer look both at ancestors I've always wanted to know more about, especially Ice and Riskrunner, and at Goldspice and Farscout at a younger age. Wonderful work!|
New! Entered: 2011-11-22
|This is another powerful story! I love the details, especially of the observations of the seal-calf cave. The dead troll was a "sight" even though I only read about him. |
Your description of Ice was most compelling, and definitely showed how powerful that moment in time was - when she left, and Goldspice's reaction.
New! Updated: 2011-11-14
|I like this quote. |
"Windburn shivered to look at the blade, not sure why the sight made the hair at his nape bristle so."