Comments on 'Storage Discovery'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2015-11-23
|If you read this story first, all you would get is a nice father-son bonding experience. If you read the Foxtail drama, this is him actually actively training Cinder to be chief, IMHO!! Sorry, Foxtail!|
New! Entered: 2012-12-28
|Matt, I really like your sense for detail. Especially at the beginning your descriptions were so vivid I felt like being in the storage dens myself.|
It was great to see Windburn in his role as a father, too.
New! Entered: 2012-12-23
|It was nice seeing Windburn being fatherly. It had me wondering how different a view Cinder and Foxtail have of Windburn, as a father. It would be interesting to see them discuss it some time in the future, when they're both adults. And I wonder if Cinder will follow in Windburn's footsteps and discover a talent for painting.|
New! Entered: 2012-02-09
|Aw this is a really sweet father and son moment between the two of them. Real bonding. I love how he hid, I remember doing stuff like that when I was young so wrapped up in my imagination and doing something wrong in a given situation. I also really like how along with the bonding it shows something Cinder is uncomfortable with. Its a really great piece of writing. :)|
New! Entered: 2011-09-19
|I like the way this story sets up such a contrast between Cinder and Foxtail, without directly pitting them against each other. It makes you wonder what Windburn thinks of it (he must notice it). But I also liked the detail at the beginning that even though cubs aren't supposed to be down in the storage dens by themselves, Cinder is... it's such a cub thing to do, to go where you're not supposed to, because that adds a bit to the thrill. :)|
New! Entered: 2011-07-27
|I wonder what Foxtail would say if she'd witnessed this! Thank you for this glimpse into the father/son relationship... it sure is different from the Father/duaghter one.|
New! Entered: 2011-07-08
|It's great to contrast this story with the one where Foxtail is offended when Windburn tells her part of a chief's duties lies in the storage dens. Perhaps Cinder has inherited his father's love of painting. Windburn didn't get started with Foxtail's chief training until very late, so perhaps he feels he should get started sooner with Cinder.|
New! Entered: 2011-06-21
|It's so sweet I reconize the relationship between my father and my little brother in this story.|
I guess Foxtail have to watch out for Cinder
New! Entered: 2011-06-18
|Yeah! Your first story is up! Congratulations :D |
I Really really enjoyed this one. It's so full of details and I just like to get a peek into Cinder's mind. He as part of stories before, yes, but this feels like he first time we really look into him.
And this moment between father and son is just so sweet. I really like seeing Windburn so relaxed and at ease, and patient with his son.
I'm really looking forward to see more of your writing!
New! Entered: 2011-06-16
|Awww, that was a very sweet look at their relationship! I agree with Megan, Windburn seems to be very patient with Cinder which is great to see (though I sometimes feel a bit sad on Foxtail's behalf ...). Generally he seems more relaxed in this than we see him most of the time - you can tell that even though it might be a chore, he really enjoys this work. Also, I absolutely love the level of detail you put in this story! It really made the environment come alive.|
New! Entered: 2011-06-16
|How sweet! This seems like the typical way that fathers interact with their children, bonding over tasks.|
New! Entered: 2011-05-25
|It's really neat to see the interaction between Chief Windburn and his son, and how their relationship appears to be different than that between Windburn and Foxtail. He almost seems a bit more...patient with Cinder? I'll be interested to see if this changes at all as Cinder grows older.|