Comments on 'First Flush'
Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management. Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally. On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!
New! Entered: 2011-09-22
|After working backwards (in commenting) from more recent stories to this one, it's interesting to revisit this, set years ago, and see the beginnings of the "Cunning Plan"... and how, for Foxtail as well as for Notch, it seems like nothing but a big ploy. Mostly when I read this, I am seized by a strong feeling that Foxtail perhaps has more faith in Notch as an ally than she should have! And I'm not entirely sure if it's just the way he comes across in this story, or if I'm reading into it based on my overall instinct to doubt him. ;-) Either way... I hope we'll see more in this progression someday! Because it's always fascinating, and we've seen a little more after this of what's happening with Foxtail, than what's happening between her and Notch.|
New! Entered: 2011-07-21
|This was interesting -- I like how you addressed the doubts that the reader may have had in reading this arc's last installment. I'll admit, though, that I get a feeling of unease for Foxtail upon reading this again (after having read it before). Does she quite know what Notch is getting her into? He seemed to have all the hallmarks of one of those villains in films who readily announce their plans to the world, only to have surprises bubbling under the surface. I so want to read more about this little 'plan' of theirs :)|
New! Entered: 2011-07-01
|You know, for each of these scheme stories, I wish more and more that Notch and Foxtail actually managed to get on the word hunt, only to be bored to death by it. It would be so wonderfully ironic.|
That said, I'm loving their plotting, especially now that Foxtail has her mother's final words gnawing away at her conscience.
New! Entered: 2011-06-24
|Wow, I loved this - you put so much evocative descriptions into it, I really felt I could see the two of them! And what struck me was *how much* there is going on between the two of them. The interaction is so complex, so multi-layered - breathtaking! I could not help but feel that both of them have some things they keep to themselves, that they keep their cards covered. This is promising to be such a fascinating storyline!|
New! Entered: 2010-10-24
|Hehe, oooh, I love the convoluted pieces of the plan that are coming out in your stories. The interaction between Notch and Foxtail is great - a fun combination of challenge, mentor-student and romance. I think you did a really nice job of setting the atmosphere too, with the description of the den. I could really 'see' this taking place!|
New! Entered: 2010-10-21
|Those little, sneaky mischief-makers!! ... I like them!! :D|
FTs feelings and reactions are very well written. While reading I could always imagine her quite well. Good insight into the realtionship of FT and Notch, too.
I am sooo curious how this whole plan develops... and if it is going to backfire at them one day.
New! Entered: 2010-10-15
|:) Such fun to see the development of "The Plan." I really hope you give us Notch's side to this story!!!!|
New! Entered: 2010-10-09
|Oh wow... And here was hoping that Foxtail indeed was growing up a bit. She fooled us, that little vixen! Here again she seems like a teenager feeling so much cleverer then the rest of the world :P What IS sticking out to me is how you describe Fxtail and Notch's dynamic here. She seems much like his henchman/woman by trying to get all the approval over him. Very well and realsicticly done. It makes her seem so young again and all I was thinking was the old "bad company"- thought. But SO well done and interesting! |
Poor Pathmark. I somehow feel for him for being an unintendet part of this plan O_O ...
I'm very curious how this will work out.