Comments on 'Not Quite Right'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Emberra Owen
New! Entered: 2012-01-19
Oh this is so sad. I feel bad for Soot, she just doesn't get it. Seeing her go from the den, to Cinder, to Foxtail, and then the workplace. So sad. Its really well written, and a great look at the wolf's perspective on such a huge event.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2011-07-01
That hurt! I seen old dogs lose their humans and Soot reminded me so much of that - first not remembering what has happened the day after, and then trying to track down Whispersilk...I cried = this story is great!
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2010-12-18
Poor Soot! Sometimes the Now of wolf thought must be heartbreaking. I wonder if one of the "cubs" took care of Soot after Whispersilk's death, or if Soot ever moved past the loss and forgot entirely... Definitely a story to make you think about the other side of things; and Snowfall and Blacksnake's worry was a great indicator that things might go wrong with this, too.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2010-11-04
You really feel for Soot here... and I wonder what's become of her over the past 5 years.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2010-07-24
This was very touching, Trena. I liked the way you handled the wolf viewpoint, and I thought that Soot's determined search for some evidence of her elf-friend was really heart-wrenching.
Heidi Henderson
New! Entered: 2010-07-21
I like this unique take on the subject of loss. It's so easy to forget that others besides the elves experience sadness when a loved one dies. Nicely done.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2010-07-20
Awww ... I'm so glad to see Whispersilk's death addressed, and even more so to see it addressed from a point of view we didn't expect. Poor Soot! Her treasure hunt was heartbreaking. And I love that you showed us some glimpses at Whispersilk's family dealing with the loss through Soot's eyes, too.
Hannah Bochart
New! Updated: 2010-07-15
Oh, oof-dah! That one hurt! Soot's tragic treasure hunt is a perfect way to bring home the reality of Whispersilk's loss: Tragedy can break through even the sturdy curtain of the Now of Wolf-thought.

I liked the reference to how Soot was probably the closest to the dear departed weaver, aside from Windburn. It really brought home how reclusive and silent Whispersilk was when she was alive, but how much she is missed now that she is gone.

So sad, poor, poor, Soot. Her creating a nest of her elf-friend's scent was almost too much for me. This was seamless and tragic. Well done.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2010-07-15
I like how you picked up what the death means for Whispersilk's wolfsbound. That was written so tenderly and I had a feeling of melancoly ... Nice snapshots of how the tribe has to deal with Whispersilk's loose in a "practical" way.

Very interesting story and POV.
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