Comments on 'Fragments of the Story'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

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Emberra Owen
New! Entered: 2015-01-26
I find this to be a really interesting way to present this part of the story, as a howl for Newt. It opened it up very smoothly.

I'm not suprised little Moonmoth had nightmares, and no control not to broadcast them. It would have been deeply traumatic I'd think. I also felt bad for Farscout to have to return to the den and collect what remained of the belongings.
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-08-15
I really like all the different aspects of this epic epic story; and "Fragments" really adds something. It's very dark, and very telling that even in hundreds of years some wounds are still too fresh. I think the elders walked a good line in what to tell Newt, and it was really great to see him pass over the horror in a way and accept it in the way they wanted him too. The scenes were all so vivid, both in the past and present.
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2012-02-21
The different "history" scenes here were all things I knew I wanted to cover for Cloudfern & Farscout post-First Contact:Prelude. But I didn't ever get traction on how to cover them. I was very grateful when this contest theme was announced, because it really crystallized for me how I could use the the framework of simply telling a story at a Howl as a replacement for writing three or four different stand-alone fics, for which I had only nebulous plot ideas.
Razzle C.
New! Entered: 2011-09-21
Oh, my. This is fantastic. The fact that they shared none of it with Newt through sending really drove home just *how* horrible it was, and was realistic in the way that adults will shield children from the horrors that go beyond the need-to-know basis. It frankly reminds me of my parents explaining World War II to me as a child -- I had a pretty good understanding of the history and the moral of it, but there are WWII history documentaries I *still* won't watch. I agree with what's been said: you did good with the switching from present day to flashback/story time and making it connect and make sense. The reactions from True Edge, Sunlight, and their lifemates also really showed the ripple effect on the tribe -- doesn't matter who is directly affected or how many elves; it affects someone else and then that affects another and so on and so forth. (I especially loved True Edge's reaction to Moonmoth's broadcast night terrors -- I love his protective reaction!) As for the last line, just wow!
Megan McCarthy
New! Entered: 2011-07-26
I like the framing of this story, with each flashback being set off by a question or a statement from Newt. Because it's set up as a story being told to someone who wasn't there, we get to see how Farscout and Cloudfern feel about the events both in present day and back when they actually happened. I just love stories that connect the past and present like that :)
Peggy B.
New! Entered: 2011-06-30
Great sequel!!! It was very interesting to see how Farscout and Cloudfern dealt with the events. (Although I would really like to see that more intensely from Farscouts point of view one day.)
Most of all I liked Ravens` and Snowdrops` reaction... sooo understandable. Feeling guilty because they are just grateful THEIR lifemates are still alive.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2011-06-22
I could truly feel the age of the elves telling the story - an interesting look into their past that makes me want to go ready even more stories about what they've been through. And Newt being scared but brave about it put a smile on my face.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2010-12-08
The details are incredible... you found such a great way to share more details of the story in a way that wasn't "too much." I like how the storytellers are careful in what they share with Newt.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2010-05-17
Great job picking some key moments and filling out our knowledge of what came after "Prelude" -- equally important, and great to get down in a story! It has always seemed like such a daunting task, and I think you did a great job of realizing how the "telling the story of it to Newt" framework could help wrangle it all into shape without it getting out of hand. I particularly like how they hit on the idea to compare Newt's situation today with Cloudfern's then -- an excellent idea for helping Newt to relate to one of his new fathers.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2010-05-07
I really love how you did this story - it's hard to do the aftermath of something so big, and you gave us glimpses of all the crucial characters and their reactions. And it was a great way to tell Newt about it. I like what we see of him in those short scenes in between, too - it shows his curiosity and courage well though he's not unaffected by the horrible story.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2010-05-06
As I told you... I really like that story. Like always... you managed to get in so much without over-packing the story.
I like how they are all show character and to see how that horrible event effected other members of the holt as well. I really like to see the reaction of the remained members of the poor family, True Edge and Sunlight.

It was a hard story to tell Newt and I really like how you managed to balance Newt between fear and curiosity. Very well done.... Very well done.
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