Comments on 'Cinders'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Ingrid G.
New! Updated: 2015-11-06
For once I'm with Foxtail. How far would a "You are right. I'm sorry." have gone?? But no, once again Windburn is disappointed in her and the rift grows deeper. I love the symbolism of Cinder peeing on her! The line, "Two things are certain: that rivers flow downstream and her father would misunderstand her". How for an unbelievable moment we think Windburn was looking for Foxtail from his own idea ~ but no, it wasn't his idea. And the last part where he makes future sibling rivalry only grow ~ along with a dash of his doubt that it would ever be her.
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2011-06-23
Poor Foxtail - I haven't read much about her yet, but her clear feeling of neglect here and the untimely humiliation she suffered at her newborn brother's hands (unplanned as it was) hurt and I sympathize with her. It was so obvious, without being overly explained, that Windburn felt he hadn't done right by her, but that he at the same time felt it was too late to fix and that Foxtail hoped that wasn't the case, even if she didn't want to admit it. It'll be interesting to read what will happen next to the chief family!
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2010-03-24
Good job on this, guys! I liked that we got to see Foxtail's sulk, as well as the happy birth. I feel bad for her and Windburn that they're just repeating the pattern that Windburn had with his father.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2010-03-02
I hope that Foxtail and Cinder(NO "S"... though it sounds better with the s) grow up to be close and good friends. I hope that they defy all expectations and I hope that the little brother is a proud supporter of his big sister, even if he has to fight for her affection. I feel for Foxtail here... I had really been hoping to see some fatherly affection and maybe even an apology from him/Whispersilk for their neglect... Mind you, I think she takes it a little far, at least she fakes a smile.
Heidi Henderson
New! Entered: 2010-02-17
I really like how this story brought some of the 'big elephants in the tribe' to view. It's nice that this new baby is going to be a fresh start for Windburn and Whispersilk, but I do feel badly for Foxtail.

It's really nice to see more of Foxtail here, too!
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2010-02-06
Just a reminder for folks... while the title of this story is a plural "Cinders", the little boy's name is "Cinder" -- no plural there. ;) I didn't think about how that might prove confusing in the long-run, but I've seen folks refer to the baby as "Cinders" elsewhere now. Eeeeps!
Linda Aarts
New! Entered: 2010-02-01
Yay, a new tribe's member -- although Foxtail isn't really pleased. And hey, wasn't she a tiny little bit right? After all, Windburn and Whispersilk did promise they would do better the second time around, and it was a little inconsiderate (though understandable!) to say this was the most perfect child ever, with Foxtail in the room.

I'm looking forward on how Foxtail will deal with her new brother, and I felt compassion for her when the matter hadn't solved in the end. She'll have to fake her smile for a while, I guess.
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2010-01-31
It's amazing how you played with the atmosphere here. The joyful and proud excitement of Cinders birth. I mean it's only natural that a new born cause this effect. Only Foxtail seems the odd one out here.

I like the little details in interaction. For example how Windburn turns to get the approval of his father for the name. The gleeful greeting of the tribe.

The last part was gut-pushing. I feel for both Windburn and Foxtail. It was almost symbolic that Cinders peed on his older sister. That's how she must feel. He comes and pee in her territory.

I think it will be interesting to see how the rivalry between those two will develop.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2010-01-31
Aww, poor Foxtail! She really is still kinda stuck in a child mentality - of which her parents are not blameless. It must be painful to see her little brother get the attention she craved. (For a moment I was hopeful when Windburn came to look for her but no ...)
And poor little Cinders, he will be his sister's rival through no fault of his own ...
Though, I am looking forward to see how this will develop! It promises quite some drama ;).
Login to add or edit your comments.

Back to Top | Home Page

Home | Characters | Art | Fiction | Resources | Links | Messageboard | Contact | Member Login

[Visual Design: Ellen Million | Sidebar Art: Rachel Vardys | Coding and maintenance: Ron Swartzendruber]
[No portion of this site's content may be used or copied without prior, written consent.]
[Send comments or questions about the site to help@rivertwine.com | Report Web errors to webmaster@rivertwine.com | Page Last Modified 29SEP2012 01:17:35 | Exec 0.01 secs]

'ElfQuest' is a registered trademark. © Copyright Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. We're just playing in this sandbox!