Comments on 'Shedding the Old'

Please note: These comments are the personal opinons of members, and do not represent any sort of official judgement, even if they are made by people in club management.  Everyone deserves respect for their creativity; but if you find a negative comment on one of your works, please don't take it personally.  On the other hand, genuine personal attacks are not tolerated and any comment containing them will be deleted as soon as we discover it!

Submitted ByComment
Beth K.
New! Entered: 2014-08-04
Fantastic look at the over-reaction and anger that Foxtail has here. Part of the punishments her and Notch get are chores that *someone* would have to be doing, and she treat them like such hardships, even allowing for tragic accidents, which makes Foxtail seem very young. Or rather, still gaining her emotional maturity. I like seeing her rash side here! And how she's dealing with the isolation is really difficult, and really what I imagine as realistic for her, and probably making everything worse.
Mareike Heilemann
New! Entered: 2011-11-12
Wow, Foxtail really is a handful - I agree that she very much feels like a rebellious teen here! The abandonment and loneliness she feels in her current situation might not be helping with that, I guess ... She certainly isn't using that time for introspection! I really liked the hair cutting which felt for me more like a defiant gesture than necessity. I'm definitely torn whether I'm sorry for her or want to smack her - maybe both!
Sofia Lindström
New! Entered: 2011-06-26
I haven't read much about Foxtail's youngest years (yet), but what I've seen of her has left me torn between feeling sorry for her and wanting to yell at her for drowning herself in self-pity and not thinking before doing. Really interesting look into her mind - and I'm very tempted to go have a look at her past now, just to see if she's exaggerating her parents' apathy towards her or not.
Lyn Cavalier
New! Entered: 2010-07-20
What an amazing look into Foxtail here. :) I agree w/ what everyone has said... and I've already told you how much I love reading what you write. Hee hee... Foxtail isn't prone to quick, rash decisions, is she?
Whitney Ware
New! Entered: 2010-03-14
I love it! It's great to read your Foxtail here -- she comes across as such a stroppy teen, and that's just so much FUN!!! And kudos for you, too -- it's such a challenge to write a character who isn't all sweetness and light and dewdrops. It takes balls to write a character who can be an annoying and short-sighted pain in the butt! But that's what makes her interesting and so much fun -- and you keep her balanced enough here that the end result is a character it's hard not to love (even when you just want to smack her with a clue-by-four). Fantastic!!!
Heidi Henderson
New! Entered: 2010-02-17
I like this look of Foxtail you've given us here. I agree with Holly's assessment that it's really interesting that the reader is left to wonder the true motives behind the new haircut.

Look forward to seeing more!
Melanie D.
New! Entered: 2010-01-31
That was an interesting look in Foxtail's way of thinking. I really feel for her in a way. She seems to feel very left out and lonely. Poor lass.
I also like the hair-cut scene. It seems more like an act of obstinacy and defiance. Very well done. I sure can see a Teenager's mind here, which is strange to think of since she's an adult by now. There's a long way ahead of her to mature.
Holly H.
New! Entered: 2010-01-30
Oh dear! Poor Foxtail! She certainly is all tangled up and feeling sorry for herself, isn't she? I liked in this story how I wasn't sure whether it was really *necessary* for her to cut off her hair, or whether that was mainly an "it's all RUINED!" dramatic gesture. It's great to get a look at what's going on inside her, and it's clear that she has a LOT of growing up to do.
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